Shuffling Man
The game is Texas hold 'em, gentlemen.
Glasses Man
You bring your wife?
Bald Man
You think I'm sitting here, I bring my wife? Dumb-ass brought his wife. '
Bearded Man
Cause I'm the man. I say I'm playing poker, I play poker. Meanwhile, your wife is back in plano boinking the mailman. Hey, what was your name again?
Unidentified speaker
Funsten. Stuart funsten. Hi.
Bald Man
Hey, you bring a little lady, stuart?
John Fitzgerald Byers
I'm not married.
Glasses Man
Smart man. A hundred.
John Fitzgerald Byers
You guys come to this every year? Def-con?
Glasses Man
Every year. Fold.
Bald Man
Wouldn't miss it.
Bearded Man
Yeah. Out.
John Fitzgerald Byers
So, you guys working on anything interesting these days?
Bald Man
[ scoffs ] same old black-ops crapola. You know what it's like.
Glasses Man
Hey, we're doing some neat stuff with neutron bombardment. Yeah, you can cook somebody's brain in their skull, like hard-boiling an egg. It's neat stuff! [ man sighs ]
Bald Man
Speaking of crapola-- fold.
Shuffling Man
Thank you.
Melvin Frohike
Oh. A man of distinction.
Shuffling Man
So, you in, mr. Funsten?
John Fitzgerald Byers
Yeah.
Shuffling Man
Looks like it's just you and me.
John Fitzgerald Byers
Another 200.
Shuffling Man
I'll see your 200, and raise you 1,000.
Bearded Man
He's buying the pot, stu.
Bald Man
Three clubs showing. Could be a flush.
John Fitzgerald Byers
One thousand, and I raise you one thousand.
Glasses Man
What stones he has! Yeah!
Shuffling Man
I see you work for conglomerated. You guys make a great ae-135 unit.
Richard Langly
Oh, man, don't freak. Don't freak. I'm on it. Ae-135. Searching. Bingo! 442-j-stroke-ae-135. Air conditioning units for b-2 bombers. Talk air conditioners.
John Fitzgerald Byers
Oh, yeah. The ae-135's a beauty. Keeps the b-2s frosty. You can practically see your breath.
Shuffling Man
How'd you get all the bugs out of it?
John Fitzgerald Byers
Ah, you know-- trade secrets.
Shuffling Man
Come on, stuart. You're among friends. Seriously, how'd you get past the "delamination" thing?
Richard Langly
"delamination." I'm searching.
Shuffling Man
Oh, I'm sorry. I'll see your thousand, and... Raise you all you've got.
Richard Langly
Systems test. Error rates-- nothing. Stall him and fold!
John Fitzgerald Byers
You want to know how we fixed the "delamination" problem? We subcontracted the whole damn thing to the japanese, then triple-billed the government. Same thing we always do. Queen-high flush.
Man
God!
Shuffling Man
King-high.
Shuffling Man
Al, call security. Have them pick up mr. Funsten here and his partner.
John Fitzgerald Byers
"delamination." you made that up.
Shuffling Man
My advice to you, stuart-- or whatever your name really is-- poker is not your game.
Melvin Frohike
Hey, man, you want to thunderdome? Let's go!