Umpire
Play ball!
Season 6 · Episode 19
The Unnatural
Character-labelled dialogue prepared from the official DVD subtitle track.
Production code6ABX19Original airdate · April 25, 1999
314 dialogue entries
Scene 01
ROSWELL, NEW MEXICO
Man
Oh, come on!
Umpire
Ball four! Take your base!
[ chattering ]
White Coach
That's it, moose! You're gettin' close now. Bring it, son.
Piney
Moose couldn't find the plate if you nailed it to his ass.
White Coach
Shut your pie hole, Piney. The kid's gotta learn. Come straight over the top! Straight over the top! Come on!
[ chattering continues ]
Catcher
Hot damn. Exley's up. Back up! Exley's up! Back up!
Josh Exley
You sure your boy got the right prescription in those spectacles?
Catcher
Oh, don't worry, ex. See, I told him to throw it... Right at your big, nappy, home run-hittin' head. So you can bet a hundred clams that ball's goin' anywhere but there.
[ cheering, shouting ]
Unidentified speaker
[ man ] all the way!
Umpire
Foul! Foul ball! Foul! Foul ball!
Unidentified speaker
Let's go. Let's go, now. Come on. Let's go.
[ chattering continues ]
Umpire
Ball!
White Coach
Moose, straight over the top! Straight over the top!
Piney
Over the top!
Catcher
Hey, ex, I heard the yankees been callin' you.
Josh Exley
I'm fine playin' here in the cactus leagues. Nice and quiet.
[ indistinct shouting ]
Umpire
Ball! Leave the cactus alone, son!
Catcher
I don't know, ex. The yanks could use those 60 home runs a year. Now that Jackie robinson's up there in the bigs, people are sayin' you're gonna be next. The first black negro man of color in the American league. Shoot, ex, you'll be famous, man.
Josh Exley
I don't wanna be no famous man. I just wanna be a man.
Grays
[ all shouting ] over the top! Over the top!
Umpire
It's a good one!
Grays
That's the key, baby! Fair ball!
Umpire
Home run! Home run!
[ cheering continues ]
Josh Exley
Sixty-one.
[ laughing, shouting ]
Unidentified speaker
Hey, what's that?
[ horses neighing ]
White Coach
What do you boys want? We're just playin' a baseball game here.
KKK rider
We got no beef with you, sir. It's that black babe ruth hidin' behind you. Josh Exley. That's all we come for.
Black Coach
Well, you can't have him.
KKK rider
We heard the yankees want to let a little nigger play ball! So we just figured we gotta play with him a little bit some first. And all you niggers and nigger lovers... Can go home! It's ex we want.
[ grunts ]
White Coach
That's what I'm talkin' about. Straight over the top. Come in straight over the top with it. Straight over the top. Come on, kid. Come on, get the guns. Get the guns!
Black Coach
Boys ain't so tough without your shotguns, are ya, fellas?
White Player
You ain't nothin' but a coward, hidin' behind your mama's bedsheet. Let's see your face. Holy mother--
Scene 02
FBI HEADQUARTERS
Dana Scully
It's a gorgeous day for baseball here in the city of the angels, and I'm told it's a gorgeous day all over our republic today... From bangor to bellflower, from amarillo to anchorage. The sun is shining, and it's a perfect day to play baseball.
Janitor
Morning.
Vin Scully
Eddie brez will start it off-- [ continues, indistinct ]
Dana Scully
Mulder, it is such a gorgeous day outside. Have you ever entertained the idea... Of trying to find life on this planet?
Fox Mulder
I've seen the life on this planet, Scully, and that is exactly why I'm looking elsewhere. Did you bring enough ice cream to share with the rest of the class?
Dana Scully
It's not ice cream. It's a nonfat tofutti rice dreamsicle.
Fox Mulder
Ugh! I bet the air in my mouth tastes better than that. You sure know how to live it up, Scully.
Dana Scully
Oh, you're mr. Live it up. You're really... Mr. Squeeze every last drop out of this sweet life. On this precious saturday, you've got us grabbing life by the testes. Stealing reference books from the FBI library... In order to go through New Mexico obituaries... For the years 1940 to 1949. And for what joyful purpose?
Fox Mulder
Looking for anomalies, Scully. Do you know how many so-called flying disc reports there were in the 1940s?
Dana Scully
I don't care. Mulder, this is a needle in a haystack. These poor souls have been dead for 50 years. Let them rest in peace. Let sleeping dogs lie.
Fox Mulder
Well, I won't sit idly by as you hurl cliches at me. Preparation is the father of inspiration.
Dana Scully
Necessity is the mother of invention.
Fox Mulder
The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.
Dana Scully
Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we may die.
Fox Mulder
I scream, you scream, we all scream for nonfat tofutti rice dreamsicles.
Unidentified speaker
Nooooo!
Dana Scully
Mulder. Mulder! You cheat! I can't believe it! You've been reading about baseball this whole time.
Fox Mulder
I'm reading the box scores, Scully. You'd like it. It's like the pythagorean theorem for jocks. It distills all the chaos and action... Of any game in the history of all baseball games... Into one tiny, perfect rectangular sequence of numbers. I can look at this box, and I can recreate exactly what happened... On some sunny summer day back in 1947. It's like the numbers talk to me. They comfort me. They tell me that even though lots of things can change, some things remain the same. It's--
Dana Scully
Boring. Mulder, can I ask you a personal question?
Fox Mulder
Of course not.
Dana Scully
Did your mother ever tell you to go outside and play?
Fox Mulder
Is that Arthur Dales?
Dana Scully
Mulder?
[ fake sneeze ]
Dana Scully
You just defaced property of the u.s. Government.
Vin Scully
It is gone!
Dana Scully
You rebel.
Scene 03
WASHINGTON, DC
Arthur Dales
What in the hell took you so long?
Fox Mulder
I'm sorry, sir. I'm looking for Arthur Dales.
Arthur Dales
I'm Arthur Dales.
Fox Mulder
No, you're not.
Arthur Dales
Don't be a wiseass, son.
Fox Mulder
No, I'm-I'm sorry, sir. I know Arthur Dales, and you're not Arthur Dales.
Arthur Dales
Arthur Dales is my brother. My name also happens to be Arthur Dales. It's the same name, different guy. The other Arthur, he moved to florida, the lucky bastard. Our parents weren't exactly big in the imagination department when it came to names. If it'll help you wrapping your little head around this stupefying mystery, agent Mulder, we had a sister named Arthur too. And a goldfish.
Fox Mulder
How do you know my name?
Arthur Dales
My brother told me all about you. He said you were the biggest jackass in the bureau since he retired. Yeah, we're big fans. Sometimes we'd stay awake for hours at night just talking about you. Just fascinating. Now, unless you're hiding some chinese food, let's call it a day.
Fox Mulder
Mr. Dales, I have a, uh-- I have a photo here of your brother. Maybe it's you. It's from many years ago, and you're standing in Roswell, New Mexico.
Arthur Dales
Roswell. That's me. I was a cop once in Roswell.
Fox Mulder
Okay. And you're standing with negro league legend Josh Exley, who disappeared without a trace during a season in which he hit 60 home runs.
Arthur Dales
Sixty-one! Sixty-one
Fox Mulder
Home runs in 1948.
Arthur Dales
Forty-seven. Forty-seven,
Fox Mulder
Whatever. I don't really care about the baseball so much. What I care about is this man in the picture with you... I believe to be an alien bounty hunter.
Arthur Dales
Of course you don't care about the baseball, mr. Mulder. You only bothered my brother about the important things... Like government conspiracies and alien bounty hunters... And the truth with a capital "t."
Fox Mulder
Wait a minute. I like baseball.
Arthur Dales
You like baseball, huh?
Fox Mulder
Yeah.
Arthur Dales
How many home runs did mickey mantle hit?
Fox Mulder
A hundred and sixty-three. [ scoffs ] righty, 373 lefty, 536 total.
Arthur Dales
What you fail to understand in your joyless myopia... Is that baseball is the key to life. The rosetta stone, if you will. If you just understood baseball better, all your other questions, your-- the aliens, the conspiracies-- they would all in their way be answered by the baseball gods.
Fox Mulder
Yes, sir. That may be true. I'm thinking that your experience in Roswell... Could be germane to a conspiracy between our government and these shape-shifting alien beings.
Arthur Dales
Oh, don't bore me, son. My brother Arthur started the X-Files, the federal bureau of obfuscation, before you were born. He was working for the FBI, hunting for aliens... When you were watching my best friend's martians. You say "shape-shifting." agent Mulder, do you believe... That love can make a man shape-shift?
[ chuckles ]
Fox Mulder
I guess women change men all the time.
Arthur Dales
I'm not talking about women. I'm talking about love, passion. Like the passion you have for proving extraterrestrial life. Do you believe that that passion can change your very nature? Can make you shape-shift from a man into something other than a man?
Fox Mulder
What exactly has your brother told you about me? Mr. Dales, if you and your brother have really known about this bounty hunter... And plans for colonization for 50 years, why the hell wouldn't you have told anybody?
Arthur Dales
Nobody would believe me.
Fox Mulder
I would have believed you.
Arthur Dales
No. You weren't ripe.
Fox Mulder
Not ripe? Let me tell you something. I've been ripe for years. I am way past ripe. I'm so ripe, I'm rotten. This cuts to the very heart of the mystery of what I've been doing for the past ten years.
Arthur Dales
Oh, the heart of the mystery! The heart of the mystery! Ah, there you are! Mr. Mulder, maybe you'd better start paying... A little less attention to the heart of the mystery... And a little more attention to the mystery of the heart. You got a dime?
Fox Mulder
What is this?
Arthur Dales
This little fella goes by the name of pete rosebud. If you keep pumping coffee money into him, he'll tell you a story... About baseball and aliens and bounty hunters.
Fox Mulder
You're making me feel like a child.
Arthur Dales
Perfect. That's exactly the right place to start from, isn't it? Now, the first thing you gotta know about baseball is... It keeps you forever young.
[ laughter ]
Scene 04
ROSWELL MUNICIPAL BALLPARK
Young Arthur Dales
Mr. Exley? Mr. Exley, my name's Arthur Dales. I'm an employee of the Roswell police department.
Josh Exley
Have I broken a law, sir?
Buck Johnson
You stole! Second base in the third inning. I'm a witness. Officer, I seen that steal. At least 50 bases this year.
Young Arthur Dales
No, sir, you haven't broken any laws. Not that I'm aware of. I've been assigned by my superiors to protect you against certain parties.
Buck Johnson
I'm the one that need protection from certain parties. Exley, he in bed by 8:00 every night.
Josh Exley
Yeah. I appreciate your concern, sir, but I can protect myself.
Young Arthur Dales
Mr. Exley, I'm not a big sports hero like yourself, sir, and I really don't have an opinion on negroes... Or jews or communists... Or even canadians and vegetarians, for that matter. But I cannot stomach the murder of a man of any persuasion or any color... Being flaunted and solicited in my town, not on my watch. So you can be safe with me in a cell down at the precinct, or you can be safe with me here on the bus. Seeing as how this is still America, you're free to choose, sir.
[ chattering ] [ indistinct muttering ]
Buck Johnson
Hey, officer Dales, you a decent man, ain't you?
Young Arthur Dales
I try to be.
Buck Johnson
Well, the fellas feel like umps would treat us better... If you got us eight more uniforms like these to play in.
Young Arthur Dales
Yeah. You could change your name from the Roswell grays... To the Roswell black and blues.
[ silence ]
[ all laughing ]
[ thunder rumbling ]
[ thunderclap ]
Josh Exley
What's the matter, Arthur? You look like you ain't never seen a black man before.
[ thunder continues ]
Scene 05
Scene 05
Fox Mulder
I gotta give it to you, Arthur. Calling a negro league team from Roswell the grays is pretty clever. "e.t., steal home. E.t., steal home."
Arthur Dales
I didn't make that up.
Fox Mulder
You seriously want me to believe that Josh Exley, maybe one of the greatest ballplayers of all times, was an alien?
Arthur Dales
They're all aliens, agent Mulder. All the great ones.
Fox Mulder
Oh, babe ruth was an alien?
Arthur Dales
Yeah.
Fox Mulder
Joe dimaggio?
Arthur Dales
Sure.
Fox Mulder
Willie mays?
Arthur Dales
Well, obviously.
Fox Mulder
Mantle? Kofax? Gibson?
Arthur Dales
Bob or kirk? See, none of the great ones fit in. Not in this world. Not in any other world.
[ knock at door ]
Arthur Dales
They're all aliens, Mulder. Till they step between the white chalk lines. Till they step on the outfield grass. Like clockwork. Poorboy with my medicine. Give the kid a tip, will ya?
Fox Mulder
So I assume you're speaking metaphorically.
Arthur Dales
Speaking metaphorically is for young men like you, agent mcgyver. I don't have time for that. I only have time to speak the truth.
Poorboy
You're a real rockefeller, ain't ya?
Scene 06
ROSWELL MUNICIPAL BALLPARK
Poorboy
Ex hits a couple of dingers, 760, and that ties the babe!
Boy
Aw, that ball's worth nothin'. Ex ain't a major leaguer, so the record don't count.
Poorboy
Does too!
Boy
Does not!
Poorboy
Does too!
Boy
Does not!
Poorboy
Does too!
Boy
Does!
Poorboy
Does
Boy
Not! Not!
[ man on p.a., indistinct ]
Boy
Down in front!
[ gasps ] [ laughing ]
[ bats hitting balls, players chattering ]
[ heaving, gasping ]
Buck Johnson
Perfect day for a ball game.
[ laughing ]
[ cheering ]
[ chattering continues ]
[ laughing ]
Unidentified speaker
Get this game goin' again.
[ chattering continues ]
Young Arthur Dales
There, uh, was a bee on you.
Josh Exley
Must've been a real big one.
Young Arthur Dales
Could've ripped your head off.
Josh Exley
Hey, Arthur. Thanks.
Buck Johnson
Officer Arthur Dales, making the world safe for baseball and negroes.
[ laughter ]
[ crowd cheering ]
Umpire
Play ball!
Unidentified speaker
Come on, now! Here we go!
Umpire
Line drive!
[ crowd booing ]
[ chattering ]
Black Coach
Do you know your name, son? Josh, do you know where you are?
[ speaking alien language ]
Buck Johnson
Josh, man, wake up!
[ alien language continues ]
Black Coach
Do you know where you're from?
Josh Exley
Macon. Macon, georgia.
Announcer On P.A.
Free round, folks! That a boy, Josh!
[ crowd cheering ]
[ phone ringing ]
Officer
Macon police department. Can I help you?
Young Arthur Dales
Yeah. My name is Arthur Dales. I'm with the Roswell police department. I'm doing a background check on a gentleman from your area. His name is Josh Exley.
Officer
You want information on a Josh Exley?
Man
Yeah. The name rings a bell. Yeah, I got a Josh Exley. A six-year-old colored boy disappeared, oh, maybe five years ago. Have you got a read on this Josh Exley's whereabouts?
Young Arthur Dales
Six years old?
Ted (lab technician)
You wanted to see me about running some chemical tests, sir?
Young Arthur Dales
Yeah. Hold on. That would make him 11 now? No, that can't be the one.
Ted (lab technician)
I, I love my job.
Young Arthur Dales
And is that all you have? Are you certain?
Man
Certain as the sunrise. I'm sorry, son.
Alien Bounty Hunter
Did you say where you were callin' from?
Young Arthur Dales
Roswell. Roswell, New Mexico.
Alien Bounty Hunter
Roswell.
Josh Exley
Hey, mornin', Poorboy.
Poorboy
Mornin', ex. How's the melon?
Josh Exley
My melon's fine. That boy throws like a lady.
Poorboy
I hear the yankees scouts are here today. Gonna hit numero 6-0?
Josh Exley
There ain't no scouts here today.
Poorboy
Sure there are. Look. Right over there.
Josh Exley
I'll be damned.
Young Arthur Dales
[ chattering ] hey, kids. So how's it goin'?
Poorboy
Ex is stinkin' up the diamond.
Young Arthur Dales
Oh, yeah?
Poorboy
Yeah.
Young Arthur Dales
Well, anybody can have a bad day.
Poorboy
Yeah, but the yankees scouts are in attendance today. I don't think they'll relish him being in the majors after such a piss poor outing as this.
Man
Come on, Exley!
Umpire
Strike two!
Man
Come on, now! Here we go!
Umpire
Two balls, two strikes now.
[ chattering ]
[ cheering ]
[ thunder rumbling ]
Scene 07
Scene 07
Young Arthur Dales
Ex, why'd you tank that game today?
Josh Exley
I won that game today.
Young Arthur Dales
You tanked the game today. You want me to tell you why? Because your name's not Josh Exley. Josh Exley is a six-year-old kid who disappeared from macon, georgia... About the same time that you showed up in Roswell.
Josh Exley
I ain't never been to macon.
Young Arthur Dales
You said you were from macon.
Josh Exley
Well, I also spoke tongues like I did when I was a little boy in church.
[ speaking alien language ]
Josh Exley
I was joking, Arthur. Relax.
Young Arthur Dales
I'm relaxed. You're hiding something. That's why you don't dare get into the major leagues. 'cause those sportswriters and everybody'd be digging around, and they'd find out what it is, right? So you tanked the game in front of those scouts today, disappointing those kids, disappointing your teammates, disappointing your race.
Josh Exley
Look here, don't go talkin' about my race. You don't know nothin' about my race.
Young Arthur Dales
I know that liars come in all colors. You got a secret. Famous or not, I'm gonna find out what it is.
Josh Exley
While you're out chasin' secrets, you make sure you're chasin' the right ones.
[ glass shattering ]
Young Arthur Dales
[ grunting ] ex. Ex.
[ grunting continues ]
[ speaking alien language ]
[ gasps ]
[ screaming ]
[ screaming ]
[ panting, muttering ]
[ gasps ] [ sighs ]
Scene 08
Scene 08
Young Arthur Dales
Oh. Oh, thank you.
[ gasps ]
Gray Alien
This is ridiculous. You're supposed to be a big, bad policeman. Now hold up, Arthur. Before you go faintin' again, listen to me. It's me, Arthur. It's ex.
Young Arthur Dales
This is an interesting dream. Wake up. Come on, artie.
Josh Exley (alien form)
Man, you ain't dreamin'. This what I really look like. This the real me.
Young Arthur Dales
Ex? That's really you under there, ex? Ow!
Josh Exley (alien form)
I ain't under anything, Arthur. And I'm tryin' not to be insulted by your reaction to my true face. Look, would it be easier if I looked like this?
Josh Exley (as a woman)
Would this be easier for you to handle? [ laughs ]
Young Arthur Dales
No. This is even weirder.
Teammate
Bus leaves in five--
Young Arthur Dales
So why did you... Leave your family in, uh, georgia?
Josh Exley
My people guard their privacy zealously.
Young Arthur Dales
I can understand that.
Josh Exley
They don't like for us to intermingle with your people. Their philosophy is, "we stick to ourselves. You stick to yourselves. Everybody's happy."
Young Arthur Dales
So what happened?
Josh Exley
You know what happened.
Young Arthur Dales
You fell in love with an earth woman?
[ laughing ]
Josh Exley
What? No. I saw a baseball game.
Young Arthur Dales
Oh.
Josh Exley
See, there's somethin' you gotta understand about my race. We don't have a word for laughter. We don't laugh. I don't know if you noticed in between all that faintin' you was doin', but we have very tiny mouths. So no smilin', even. ♪♪ [ man singing ] I tell ya, when I saw that baseball game bein' played, this laughter just-- it just rose up outta me. You know the sound the ball makes when it hits the bat?
Young Arthur Dales
Yeah.
Josh Exley
That was like music to me. You know, the smell of the grass, the leather mitt. The first unnecessary thing I ever done in my life, and I fell in love. I didn't know the unnecessary could feel so good. You know, the game was meaningless, but it seemed to mean everything to me. It was useless but perfect.
Young Arthur Dales
Yeah. Like a-- like a rose.
Josh Exley
Yeah, yeah, like a rose. Yeah. Uh-huh. See? You get it, Arthur. You're a fan.
Young Arthur Dales
Uh-huh.
Josh Exley
I tell you, from that moment on... I just couldn't fix myself to go home.
Buck Johnson
Come on up here, ex. Let's hear that beautiful voice you got on you.
Music
♪ we'll all be together in that land ♪ ♪ we'll all be together in that land ♪ ♪ we'll all be together in that land ♪ ♪ where I'm bound oh, lord ♪ ♪ we'll all be together in that land ♪ ♪ we'll all be together in that land ♪
Unidentified speaker
♪ we'll all be together-- ♪ [ continues, indistinct ]
Bus announcer
Gray bus lines. You can go home again.
Scene 09
Scene 09
Fox Mulder
Let me get this straight. A free-spirited alien... Fell in love with baseball and ran away from the other non-fun-having aliens... And made himself black because that would prevent him from getting to the majors... Where his unspeakable secret might be discovered by an intrusive press and public. And you're also implying that--
Arthur Dales
You certainly have a knack... For turning chicken salad into chicken spit.
Fox Mulder
You're also implying that this baseball-playing alien... Has something to do with the famous Roswell UFO crash of July, '47, aren't you?
Arthur Dales
You're just dying to connect the dots, aren't you, son? Look, I give you some wood. I asked you for a cabinet. You build me a cathedral. I don't want a cathedral. I like where I live. I just want a place to put my TV. Understand my drift?
Fox Mulder
Drift it is, sir.
Arthur Dales
Trust the tale, agent mcgyver, not the teller. That which fascinates us is by definition true. Speaking metaphorically, of course.
Fox Mulder
Okay, so was ex a man who is metaphorically an alien... Or an alien who is metaphorically a man... Or a something in between that was literally an alien/human hybrid? It's official. I am a horse's ass.
Arthur Dales
What is it to be human, Fox? Is it to have the chemistry of a man? In the universal scheme of things, a dog's chemistry is nearly identical to that of a man. But is a dog like a man?
Fox Mulder
I have noticed that over the course of time... A man and his dog will start to look like one another.
Arthur Dales
But to be a man is to have the heart of a man. Integrity, decency, sympathy. These are the things that make a man a man. And ex had them all. Had them all, more than you or I.
Young Arthur Dales
[ phone rings ] Dales. Ted?
Scene 11
Scene 11
Young Arthur Dales
Calm down. What is it?
Ted (lab technician)
This goo on the glove you gave me. Is this a joke?
Young Arthur Dales
Why?
Ted (lab technician)
It's not like any chemical compound I've ever seen. It's from a life-form which doesn't seem to be carbon based. Which, by the way, is impossible. This is way out of my league. I called the FBI and the communicable disease center in washington--
Young Arthur Dales
Washington? Ted, you didn't! Nobody was supposed to know. Can you get the glove back to me?
Ted (lab technician)
Sure. As soon as I finish up here.
Josh Exley
I didn't mean to startle you. I'm Josh.
Ted (lab technician)
Oh, I know who you are. Only the best damn ballplayer west of the bronx.
Josh Exley
Thank you, sir. Arthur sent me down here to explain the substance. That's my mitt it ruined.
Ted (lab technician)
Where is this stuff from? Where did you get it?
Josh Exley
Mars. [ laughing ] actually, just to the left of mars.
Lab Technician
What do you think you're doing? [ gasping, choking ]
Scene 12
Scene 12
Young Arthur Dales
Ex. Ex, there's this fellow down at the precinct... Who's willing to swear on his life that you killed a man this afternoon. Now, I'm not sure what's-- what's goin' on here, but I, I do know that you're no murderer. You're gonna have to get out of town, ex.
Josh Exley
Life ain't like baseball, is it?
Young Arthur Dales
No. No, it's not.
Josh Exley
I had a talk with my relative. Good talk. He made me understand reason, Arthur. Family's more important than a game. So I gotta go home.
Young Arthur Dales
You still consider them to be your family?
Josh Exley
Of course I do. Who do you think my family is?
Young Arthur Dales
I don't know. Your team?
Josh Exley
Don't get cornball on me, man. Next thing you're gonna be tellin' me is... I owe it to all the little kids to break the home run record... Or I owe it to the black folks, who think I'm one of them... To make it to the majors, or I should just keep playin'... Out of some meaningless human concept of pride or loyalty.
Young Arthur Dales
I don't know, ex.
Josh Exley
We don't think like that, man. We may be able to look like y'all, but we ain't y'all. You know the big thing that separates us from you?
Young Arthur Dales
What's that?
Josh Exley
We got rhythm.
[ both laughing ]
[ sirens wailing ]
Josh Exley
I better go.
Young Arthur Dales
Yeah.
Josh Exley
Hey, could you do me a favor? Will you tell people what I did on the field? Will you tell your kids how I played the game?
Young Arthur Dales
You know I will, ex.
Josh Exley
Hey, man, one more thing.
Young Arthur Dales
What?
Josh Exley
You got a pretty good arm on ya, boy.
[ laughing ]
[ sirens approaching ]
Scene 13
Scene 13
Officer Coronado
You may think you know the man, Dales, but believe me, you do not know the man.
Young Arthur Dales
You don't know what I know, and you don't know what I don't know.
Officer Coronado
This is no minor league New Mexico cowboy cop crap. If I told you what was really goin' on, you'd just stare at me... In wild-eyed wonder and pee your pants like a baby. Now tell me what I wanna know. Where's Exley?
Young Arthur Dales
I told you. He told me he was goin' home.
Umpire
Play ball!
Josh Exley
You sure your boy got the right prescription in those spectacles?
[ crowd shouting, chattering ]
[ crowd cheering ]
Umpire
[ umpire ] home run!
Officer Coronado
I got a witness puts him at the murder scene. Now, I know they have a tendency to look alike, but unless he's got a guy runnin' around town looks identical to him... He is a murderer, you could be an accomplice... And the two of you fast slidin' down a giant razor blade into a big old glass of lemonade.
[ all shouting ]
[ horses neighing ]
Officer Coronado
But don't you hand him over... And you can wear your big hat and that pretty badge as long as you want.
Young Arthur Dales
Are we finished?
Officer Coronado
No, mr. Dales. You're finished.
Unidentified speaker
"home."
[ horses neighing ]
Unidentified speaker
It's alive.
[ shouting ]
Young Arthur Dales
Come on!
Alien Bounty Hunter
It's over.
Josh Exley
I know.
Alien Bounty Hunter
I warned you. You didn't listen. Now you die.
Josh Exley
It's the right thing to do.
Alien Bounty Hunter
What do you know of the right thing to do? You who would risk exposing the entire project for a game? A game.
Josh Exley
I hit a home run tonight.
Alien Bounty Hunter
A home run?
Josh Exley
Number 61. I set a record.
Alien Bounty Hunter
Show me your true face so you can die with dignity. As your executioner, I show you my true face before I kill you.
[ shouting continues ]
Alien bounty hunter (alien form)
Show me your true face, or you will die without honor.
Josh Exley
This is my true face.
Alien bounty hunter (alien form)
So be it.
Young Arthur Dales
No! Stop! Ex!
Josh Exley
No! Let me be, let me be!
[ horse neighing ]
Josh Exley
Arthur, get off of me! Our blood is like acid to you people. Arthur, get away. Don't touch it.
Young Arthur Dales
It's just blood, ex. Look. It's just blood.
Josh Exley
Wow.
[ laughing ]
Music
♪ come and go with me to that land ♪ ♪ come and go with me to that land ♪ ♪ come and go with me to that land ♪ ♪ where I'm bound ♪ ♪ I got a brother in that land ♪ ♪ I got a brother in that land ♪ ♪ I got a brother in that land ♪ ♪ where I'm bound ♪ ♪ where I'm bound ♪ ♪ I got a brother in that land ♪ ♪ I got a brother in that land ♪ ♪ I got a brother in that land ♪ ♪ where I'm bound ♪
♪♪ [ humming ]
Scene 15
Scene 15
Dana Scully
So, uh, I get this message marked "urgent"... On my answering service from one Fox mantle... Telling me to come down to the park for a very special, very early or very late birthday present. And Mulder, I don't see any nicely wrapped presents lying around. So what gives?
Fox Mulder
You've never hit a baseball, have you, Scully?
Dana Scully
No, I guess I have found... More necessary things to do with my time... Than slap a piece of horse hide with a stick.
Fox Mulder
♪ I got a sister in that land ♪ get over here, Scully.
Music
♪ I got a sister in that land ♪ ♪ where I'm bound ♪ ♪ where I'm bound ♪
Dana Scully
♪ I got a sister in that land ♪ is this my birthday present, Mulder? ♪ I got a sister in that land ♪ you shouldn't have.
Fox Mulder
This ain't cheap. I'm payin' that kid ten bucks an hour to shag balls. ♪ where I'm bound ♪ that's not a bad piece of ash, huh? The bat. I'm talkin' about the bat. Now, don't strangle it. You just want to shake hands with it. All right. "hello, mr. Bat. It's a pleasure." "oh, no, no, miss Scully. The pleasure is all mine." okay, now we want to go hips before hands, okay? And we wanna stride forward and turn. That's all we're thinking about. So we go hips before hands, all right?
Dana Scully
Okay.
Fox Mulder
One more time. Hips before hands. All right?
Dana Scully
Yeah.
Fox Mulder
What is it?
Dana Scully
Hips before hands.
Fox Mulder
Right. We're gonna wait on the pitch, keep our eye on the ball. All right. Then we're just gonna make contact. We're just gonna let it fly, Scully, okay?
Dana Scully
Mm-hmm.
Fox Mulder
Ready?
Dana Scully
I'm in the middle.
Fox Mulder
All right, fire away, Poorboy. Ooh! That's good. All right, what you may find as you concentrate on hitting that little ball, the rest of the world just fades away, all your everyday nagging concerns. The ticking of your biological clock. How you probably couldn't afford that nice new suede coat on a g-woman's salary. How you threw away a promising career in medicine... To hunt aliens with your crackpot, albeit brilliant, partner. Getting to the heart of a global conspiracy. Your obscenely overdue triple-x bill. Oh, I'm sorry, Scully. Those last two problems are mine, not yours.
Dana Scully
Shut up, Mulder. I'm playing baseball. Ooh!
Music
♪ where I'm bound ♪ ♪ where I'm bound ♪ ♪ come and go with me to that land ♪ ♪ come and go with me to that land ♪ ♪ come and go with me to that land ♪ ♪ where I'm bound ♪♪
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About this transcript
The dialogue comes from the official DVD subtitle track supplied by Boggsfiles. Speaker and scene attribution was cross-checked against character-labelled reference material. Subtitle wording is preserved while capitalization and spacing are standardized for easier reading.