Ronnie Strickland
Help! Help! Somebody help me! Help!
Season 5 · Episode 12
Bad Blood
Character-labelled dialogue prepared from the official DVD subtitle track.
Production code5X12Original airdate · February 22, 1998
320 dialogue entries
Scene 01
CHANEY, TEXAS
[ grunts ]
[ panting ]
Ronnie Strickland
Oh, he's gonna kill me! Help! God, somebody help me! Go away! [ screams ] help! [ screams ]
[ panting ]
Ronnie Strickland
Please help me!
[ grunts ]
Ronnie Strickland
[ grunting ] help!
Dana Scully
Mulder?
Fox Mulder
Look at that. Huh? Huh? Oh, shi--
[ door closes ]
[ tapping pen rhythmically ]
Scene 02
FBI HEADQUARTERS - X FILES OFFICE
Dana Scully
Mulder--
Fox Mulder
Don't. Don't even start with me. I know what I saw. [ sighs ]
Dana Scully
Skinner wants a report in one hour. What are you going to tell him?
Fox Mulder
I'm gonna tell him exactly what I saw. What are you gonna tell him?
Dana Scully
I'll tell him exactly what I saw.
Fox Mulder
Now, how is that different? I'm the one who may wind up going to prison here. I gotta know if you're gonna back me up.
Dana Scully
First of all, if the family of Ronnie Strickland does, indeed, decide to sue the FBI.. For-- I think the figure is $446 million-- then you and I both will most certainly be codefendants. And second of all-- I don't even have a second of all, Mulder. Four hundred and forty-six million dollars. I'm in this as deep as you are, and I'm not even the one that overreacted. I didn't do the-- with the thing.
Fox Mulder
I did not overreact. Ronnie Strickland was a vampire.
Dana Scully
Where's your proof?
Fox Mulder
You're my proof. You were there. Now you're scaring me. I want to hear what you're gonna tell Skinner.
Dana Scully
You want our stories straight.
Fox Mulder
I didn't say that. I just want to hear it the way you saw it.
Dana Scully
I don't feel comfortable with that.
Fox Mulder
Prison, Scully. Your cell mate's nickname is gonna be "large marge." she's gonna read a lot of gertrude stein.
Dana Scully
All right.
Fox Mulder
All right, start at the beginning.
Dana Scully
The very beginning?
[ drawer opens ]
Dana Scully
Fine.
[ sighs ]
Dana Scully
Yesterday morning... When I arrived at work, you were, uh... Characteristically exuberant.
Scene 03
YESTERDAY
Fox Mulder
Hope you brought your cowboy boots!
Dana Scully
You want us to go to Dallas?
Fox Mulder
Yee-haw! Actually a town called cheney about 50 Miles south of there. Population: 361. By all accounts, very rustic and charming. But as of late, ground zero, the locus... For a series of mysterious nocturnal exsanguinations.
Dana Scully
Exsanguinations. Of whom?
[ slides clicking into place ]
Fox Mulder
How does that grab ya?
Dana Scully
It's a--
Fox Mulder
Dead cow! Exactly. Or more specifically, a dead 900-pound holstein. Its body completely drained of blood, as was this one, this one, this one, this one, and so on-- six, all in all-- approximately one a week over the past six weeks.
Dana Scully
Any sign of--
Fox Mulder
Two small puncture wounds on the neck?
Dana Scully
Not what I was gonna ask.
Fox Mulder
Too bad. We got 'em. Check it out.
Dana Scully
These may be syringe marks, their placement meant to emulate fangs. Such ritualistic bloodletting points towards cultists of some sort, in which case-- what?
Fox Mulder
Yeah, that's probably it. Satanic cultists. Come on, Scully.
Dana Scully
You're not gonna tell me this is that mexican goat sucker.
Fox Mulder
El chupacabra? They got four fangs, not two. And they suck goats, hence the name.
Dana Scully
So instead this would be?
Fox Mulder
Classic vampirism.
Dana Scully
Of a bunch of cows?
Fox Mulder
And one dead human. Last night a vacationer from new jersey. Come on. We gotta go.
Dana Scully
Why didn't you tell me that from the beginning?
Fox Mulder
Lock the door on your way out. [ disgusted sigh ]
Scene 04
PEACEFUL SLUMBERS FUNERAL PARLOR
Dana Scully
The town of cheney is too small to maintain a morgue facility. As such, we made our way to the peaceful slumbers funeral home... In order to examine the body of one mr. Dwight funt, recently deceased.
[ man talking quietly ]
Dana Scully
It was there that we were met by a representative... Of local law enforcement, sheriff--
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Lucius Hartwell. You the FBI agents?
Fox Mulder
Yes. I'm--
[ snapping fingers ]
Fox Mulder
Agents Mulder and, uh-- Scully. What do you say we take a look at your victim?
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Yeah, by all means. After you.
Fox Mulder
Come on, Scully. Get those little legs movin'. Come on.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Boy.
Scene 05
EXAMINATION ROOM
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Here we go.
Fox Mulder
Nice threads.
Dana Scully
No exam has been done?
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
No, ma'am. He's just like we found him in the motel room. Once I heard you folks were interested, I figured we'd best leave it up to the experts.
Fox Mulder
Your satanic cultists have some sharp little teeth.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
What satanic cultists?
Fox Mulder
Go ahead, tell him your, uh, "theory."
Dana Scully
Well, my theory has evolved. Basically, I think we're looking for someone who has seen one too many bela lugosi movies. He believes he is a vampire, therefore he--
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
They act like one. Yeah. Yeah. That makes a whole lot of sense. I think she's right.
Fox Mulder
What about the fang marks?
Dana Scully
Well, someone so obsessed might well file down their incisors. I think that a moulage casting should help us make an identification.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Moulage casting. That's a good idea. Now-- now, isn't there some kind of disease that makes a person think that they're a vampire?
Dana Scully
Well, there is a psychological fixation called hematodipsia, which causes the sufferer to gain erotic satisfaction... From consuming human blood.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Erotic. Yeah.
Dana Scully
There are also genetic afflictions... Which cause a heightened sensitivity to light, uh, to garlic. Porphyria. Xeroderma pigmentosum.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
You really know your stuff, Dana.
Scene 06
TODAY
Fox Mulder
"Dana"? He never even knew your first name.
Dana Scully
You gonna interrupt me, or what?
Fox Mulder
No, go ahead. Dana.
Dana Scully
Anyway, that's when you had your big breakthrough-- whatever.
Scene 07
YESTERDAY
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Agent Scully, you really know your stuff.
Fox Mulder
Sheriff, you say this man is exactly as you found him?
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Yes, sir, to the letter.
Fox Mulder
Have you noticed that this man's shoes are untied?
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Yeah, they sure are.
Dana Scully
Mulder, what's your point?
Fox Mulder
This means something. Do you have an old cemetery in town, off the beaten path, the creepier the better?
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Uh, yeah.
Fox Mulder
Take me there now.
Dana Scully
Mulder.
Fox Mulder
We're gonna need a complete autopsy on this man, the sooner the better.
Dana Scully
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What am I even looking for?
Fox Mulder
I don't know.
Dana Scully
He does that.
Fox Mulder
Come on, sheriff Hartwell.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Ma'am.
Dana Scully
4:54 p.m. Begin autopsy on white male, age 60, who is arguably having a worse time in Texas than I am, although not by much. I'll begin with the "y" incision.
[ blade hits floor ]
Dana Scully
Yee-haw. Heart weighs 370 grams. Tissue appears healthy. Left lung weighs 345 grams. Tissue appears healthy. Large intestine, 890 grams. Yada, yada, yada. Stomach contents show last meal close to the time of death... Consisting of... Pizza, topped with pepperoni, green peppers, mushrooms. Mushrooms. [ sighs ] that sounds really good.
[ neck muscles cracking ] [ sighs ]
Scene 08
SAM HOUSTON MOTOR LODGE - NIGHT
Dana Scully
Having completed the autopsy, I checked into the davey crockett motor court.
Fox Mulder
The name of it was actually the sam houston motor lodge.
[ bed motor humming ] [ sighs ]
Fox Mulder
[ whispering ] oh, my God.
[ door hinges creak, door slams ]
Scene 09
SCULLY'S ROOM
Dana Scully
Chloral hydrate.
Fox Mulder
What?
Dana Scully
What the hell happened to you?
Fox Mulder
Nothin'. Chloral hydrate?
Dana Scully
Yeah, that thing that you didn't know that you were looking for. Chloral hydrate, more colorfully known as "knockout drops." I found it in abundance when I sent the tox screen in on our murder victim. No, seriously, Mulder. What happened to you?
Fox Mulder
Nothing. Who slipped him the mickey?
Dana Scully
My "theory"? Your vampire. He found it necessary to dope poor mr. Funt to the gills... Before he was able to extract his blood. Probably did it to the cows too.
Fox Mulder
What kind of vampire would do that?
Dana Scully
Exactly.
[ sighs ]
Fox Mulder
We got another dead tourist. You gotta do another autopsy.
Dana Scully
Tonight? I just put money in the magic fingers.
Fox Mulder
I won't let it go to waste.
[ bed continues vibrating ]
[ sighs ]
[ giggling ]
[ giggling continues ]
Dana Scully
This one's my room, Mulder. Don't get mud everywhere.
Fox Mulder
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[ giggling ]
Fox Mulder
Okay.
Ronnie Strickland
Excuse me, ma'am. Did you order a pizza?
Dana Scully
Yeah. The guy in there will pay for it.
Scene 10
EXAMINATION ROOM
Dana Scully
Forgoing both dinner and sleep, I was soon back at the funeral home... Examining one mr. Paul lombardo... From naples, florida. Heart. Lung. Large intestine.
[ sighs ]
[ sighs deeply ]
Dana Scully
As with the previous victim, it appears that the subject... Was most likely incapacitated with chloral hydrate... And then exsanguinated.
[ phone rings ] [ sighs ]
Dana Scully
The drug was either injected or ingested, [ ringing continues ] I'm not sure which.
[ phone beeps ]
Dana Scully
Scully. [ heavy breathing ] hello? [ gasping ] hello?
[ panting ]
Dana Scully
[ sighs ] where was I? Stomach contents.
[ sighs ]
Dana Scully
Stomach contents include... Pizza-- [ gasps ] chloral hydrate's in the pizza. The pizza guy. [ gasps ] Mulder.
Scene 11
SCULLY'S ROOM
Dana Scully
Mulder?
[ hissing ]
Scene 12
TODAY X FILES OFFICE
Fox Mulder
That's it?
Dana Scully
Well, luckily, I'd gotten there in time. I mean, though you were drugged, you were, more or less, unharmed.
Scene 13
YESTERDAY SCULLY'S ROOM
Dana Scully
Mulder? Are you okay?
Fox Mulder
Who's the black private dick who's the sex machine with all the chicks? ♪ shaft ♪♪ can you dig it? They say this cat shaft is a bad mother-- shut your mouth. Talkin' 'bout shaft.
Scene 14
TODAY X FILES OFFICE
Fox Mulder
I did not.
Dana Scully
Long story short, though my first four shots obviously missed Ronnie Strickland entirely, with my fifth, I was able to shoot out a tire on his car, forcing him to escape on foot. I left you behind, and I entered the woods in pursuit. I assumed that you were incapacitated. Then I heard screaming. When I arrived in the clearing, I found that you had caught up with him first... And had... Overreacted, and that his vampire teeth were fake.
Fox Mulder
That's what you're gonna tell Skinner.
Dana Scully
Well, I'm gonna argue that we caught a killer. An utterly non-supernatural killer, but a killer nonetheless. And that your zeal to catch up with him was augmented... By the chloral hydrate you were given.
Fox Mulder
You are afraid to tell the truth.
Dana Scully
Excuse me?
Fox Mulder
That's not the way it happened. Are you afraid if you tell it... The way it really happened, you'll look like an idiot, like me?
Dana Scully
Mulder, why don't you tell me the way you think it happened? Starting at the beginning.
Fox Mulder
You're damn right. Yesterday morning began like any other morning. You arrived at the office characteristically less than exuberant.
Scene 15
YESTERDAY - MULDER'S VERSION
[ quiet tone ]
Fox Mulder
I hope you brought your cowboy boots.
Dana Scully
Why are we going to Dallas?
Fox Mulder
Actually it's a little town just south of there called cheney, Texas. They've had incidents down there recently which I think you'll agree are pretty unusual.
Dana Scully
Like what?
Fox Mulder
I brought some slides with which to better illustrate. Here we go.
Dana Scully
It's a dead cow.
Fox Mulder
It's actually six dead cows, and here's the really interesting thing.
Dana Scully
Why am I looking at six dead cows?
Fox Mulder
Because of the manner in which they died. All six were mysteriously exsanguinated.
Dana Scully
And?
Fox Mulder
And two little puncture marks right here on the neck. Look, I got a slide of that. And, um, one dead human victim. Last night a vacationer from new jersey. His body completely drained of blood, and two little puncture wounds on his neck. Okay, look, Scully, I don't want to jump to any hasty conclusions, but on the strength of the evidence that we have here, I think what we may be looking at is what appears to be a series of vampire... Or vampire-like attacks.
Dana Scully
On what do you base that?
Fox Mulder
Uh, well, on the corpses drained of blood... And the fang marks on the neck. But as always, I-I'm very eager to hear your opinion.
Dana Scully
Well, it's obviously not a vampire.
Fox Mulder
Why not?
Dana Scully
Because they don't exist?
Fox Mulder
Well, that's one opinion, and I respect that. Nonetheless, I'm thinking a murder has been committed here, and we can go down there and help bring a killer to justice... In whatever form-- mortal or immortal-- he may take.
Dana Scully
It's not that mexican goat sucker either.
[ man talking quietly ]
Scene 16
PEACEFUL SLUMBERS FUNERAL HOME
Fox Mulder (voice-over)
Upon arriving at the funeral home, I made an interesting observation, one which you apparently didn't hear.
Fox Mulder
That's a whole lot of caskets.
Mortician
Largest in-stock selection in the state.
Fox Mulder
Well, why would a town with a population of only 361 need that?
[ chuckles ]
Mortician
Repeat business. Mortician humor. Excuse me.
Fox Mulder (voice-over)
Apparently, your mind was somewhere else.
Dana Scully
Whoo, boy.
[ exaggerated Texas accent ]
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Y'all must be the government people. I'm Lucius Hartwell.
Scene 17
TODAY
Dana Scully
He had big buckteeth?
Fox Mulder
He had a slight overbite.
Dana Scully
No, he didn't. And that's significant? How?
Fox Mulder
I'm just trying to be thorough. Anyway, then we went to take a look at the body.
Scene 18
EXAMINATION ROOM
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Here we go.
Fox Mulder
No exam has been done?
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
No, sir. This is just like we found him in the motel room, as is.
Dana Scully
No exam has been done?
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Uh, no, ma'am. Once I heard y'all was interested, I figured we'd best leave it to the experts. Now, uh, that can't be what it looks like, right?
Fox Mulder
It depends on what you think it looks like, sheriff Hartwell. Vampires have always been with us, in ancient myths and stories passed down from early man. From the babylonian ekimmu to the chinese kuangshi, the motetz dam of the hebrews, the mormo of ancient greece and rome, right down to the more familiar nosferatu of transylvania.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Mormo. Yeah.
Dana Scully
In short, sheriff, no, this can't be what it looks like. I think what we're dealing with here is simply a case of some lunatic...
[ chuckles ]
Dana Scully
Who, uh, has watched too many bela lugosi movies. He wishes that he could transfigure himself into a creature of the night.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Yeah, okay. What she said, that's what I'm thinkin'. And, uh, yeah.
Fox Mulder
Still, that leaves us in something of a quandary... Because there are as many different vampires as there are cultures that fear them. Some don't even subsist on blood. The bulgarian ubour, for example, eats only manure.
Dana Scully
Thank you.
Fox Mulder
To the serbs, a prime indicator of vampirism was red hair.
[ chuckles ]
Fox Mulder
Uh, some vampires are thought to be eternal. Others are thought to have a life span of only 40 days. Sunlight kills certain vampires, while others come and go as they please, day or night.
Dana Scully
If there's a point, Mulder, please feel free to come to it.
Fox Mulder
My point is we don't know exactly what we're looking for, what kind of vampire-- or, if you prefer, what kind of vampire this killer wishes himself to be.
Scene 19
TODAY X FILES OFFICE
Dana Scully
Now, why is it so important that his shoes were untied?
Fox Mulder
I'm gettin' to it.
Fox Mulder (voice-over)
So while you stayed behind to do the autopsy, the sheriff drove me to the town cemetery.
[ metal gate squeaking ]
[ thunder rumbling ]
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Agent Mulder, you mind me askin' you why we're out here?
Fox Mulder
Historically, cemeteries are thought to be a haven for vampires, as are castles, catacombs and swamps. But, unfortunately, you don't have any of those.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
We used to have swamps, only the e.p.a. Made us take to callin' 'em wetlands.
Fox Mulder
Yeah, so we're out here looking for any signs of vampiric activity.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Which would be like, uh--
Fox Mulder
Broken or shifted tombstones. The absence of birds singing.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
There you go. 'cause I ain't-- I ain't hearin' any birds singin'. Right? 'course, it's winter, and we ain't got no birds, but-- is there anything else?
Fox Mulder
A faint groaning coming from under the earth, the sound of mandication, of the creature eating its own death shroud.
[ rain falling ]
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
No. No mani-- man-- man-- mandication. Mandication, no.
Fox Mulder
Sheriff, I-I know my methods may seem a little odd to you, but--
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Look, y'all work for the federal government. That's all I need to know. I mean, c.I.a., secret service. Y'all run the show, so--
Fox Mulder
It's just that my gut instinct tells me that the killer will visit this place, that it may well hold some fascination, some kind of siren call for him. You know?
[ horn honking ]
Ronnie Strickland
Howdy, sheriff!
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Oh, hey, Ronnie. How's it goin'?
Ronnie Strickland
Can't complain.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Well, all right, then.
Fox Mulder
Maybe after nightfall, sheriff, but he'll come. Oh, he'll come.
Scene 20
CEMETERY - NIGHT
Fox Mulder (voice-over)
So we staked out the cemetery.
[ animal howling ]
Scene 21
TODAY X FILES OFFICE
Dana Scully
Mulder. Shoelaces?
Fox Mulder
Hmm?
Dana Scully
On the corpse. You were gonna tell me what was so meaningful about finding untied shoelaces.
Fox Mulder
I'm gettin' to it.
Scene 22
CEMETERY - NIGHT
Fox Mulder
Sunflower seed? Sorry.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
No, thanks. Do you mind-- do you mind me askin' you what you were--
Fox Mulder
Historically, certain types of seeds are thought to fascinate vampires. Chiefly oats and millet, but, you know, you gotta make do with what you have. Remember when I said before that we didn't know what type of vampire we were looking for?
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Yeah.
Fox Mulder
Oddly enough, there seems to be one obscure fact... Which, in all the stories told by the different cultures, is exactly the same, and that's that vampires are really, really obsessive/compulsive. Huh. You toss a handful of seeds, no matter what he's doing, he's gotta stop and pick it up. If he sees a knotted rope, he's gotta untie it. It's in his nature. That's why I'm guessing our victim's shoelaces were untied.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Yeah. Obsessive. Like rain man. When that old boy dropped matchsticks, he had to pick 'em all up. Same thing, right?
Fox Mulder
Well, he didn't actually pick 'em up. He counted them.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Oh, yeah! He didn't have to pick them up. 247. Off the top of his head.
Fox Mulder
If he picked them up, he would have been a vampire.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Yeah. I tell you what. I know I'm in law enforcement, but I'd like to take him to vegas myself. Am I right?
Fox Mulder
Well, that would be illegal, right?
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
He was like a little calculator.
Fox Mulder
Yeah.
Charlene
You got your radio on?
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Excuse me. Hey, charlene. What's up?
Charlene
I just got a call from the r.v. Park. They got something of a situation there.
[ engine starts ]
Charlene
Sounds like you might want to have a look.
Scene 23
ROLLING ACRES RV CAMP
Ronnie Strickland
Hey again, sheriff.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Hey again, Ronnie.
Ronnie Strickland
I guess you got yourself a runaway, huh?
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Yeah, Ronnie. I guess we do. What do you think? We ought to shoot the tires out?
Fox Mulder (voice-over)
Anyway, skipping ahead--
Scene 24
TODAY X FILES OFFICE
Dana Scully
Why skip ahead? What happened then? Mulder? You shot out the tires. And what then?
Scene 25
ROLLING ACRES RV CAMP
Fox Mulder (voice-over)
Okay, here's something you may not know. Shooting out the tires on a runaway r.v. Is a lot harder than it looks. I then tried a different approach.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Whoa! Hey!
Fox Mulder
Hey, hey! Whoa! Help! Whoa! Come on, bird-dog it! Thataway!
[ screaming ]
Fox Mulder
Oh!
[ groaning ]
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Shee, ow. How you doin' there? All right there?
[ engine sputtering ]
Fox Mulder (voice-over)
Finally, we prevailed.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
That's the same as the others.
Fox Mulder
Right down to the shoes.
Fox Mulder (voice-over)
We interviewed everyone present. No one had seen anything.
Scene 26
SCULLY'S ROOM
Fox Mulder (voice-over)
Tired, frustrated and lacking a solid lead,
[ bed vibrating ]
Fox Mulder (voice-over)
I just wanted to get cleaned up. I had the sheriff drop me at the motel, which is where I ran into you.
Dana Scully
[ shouting ] what do you mean you want me to do another autopsy? Why do I have to do it now? I spent hours on my feet doing an autopsy, all for you! I do it all for you, Mulder! I haven't eaten since 6:00 this morning, and that was was half a cream cheese bagel. It wasn't even real cream cheese, it was light cream cheese! Now you want me to run off and do another autopsy? What the hell happened to you?
Fox Mulder (voice-over)
Finally, you left.
[ door slams ]
Dana Scully
Don't you touch that bed!
[ bed continues vibrating ]
[ knocking on door, door opening ]
Ronnie Strickland
Hello? Hello! Oh, hey again. The lady outside-- she said that, uh, you'd pay for this.
Fox Mulder
She ordered a pizza from you? Excellent. How much?
Ronnie Strickland
12.98.
Fox Mulder
I'll get my wallet. How much?
Ronnie Strickland
It's 12.98.
Fox Mulder
Okay, here's 13.
Ronnie Strickland
Okay, then. Enjoy.
[ door closes ]
Fox Mulder
Ah, Scully.
Fox Mulder (voice-over)
So I ate your dinner. And that's when I saw it. But by then, it was too late.
[ falls on floor ]
[ phone beeps, dialing ]
Fox Mulder
Uh--
Dana Scully
This is Scully. Hello?
Fox Mulder
Uh-- de--
Dana Scully
Hello?
[ Mulder groans ]
Fox Mulder
Uh-- uh-- th-- creep. Uhh-- uhh-- you--
[ hissing ]
Ronnie Strickland
Oh, man! What'd you have to go and do that for? You are in big trouble.
[ grunts ]
Fox Mulder (voice-over)
Then I was out cold. I don't know for how long, but when I finally came to--
[ hissing ]
[ gun cocks ]
Dana Scully
Mulder?
[ growls ]
Scene 27
TODAY X FILES OFFICE
Dana Scully
You're saying that I actually hit him two times?
Fox Mulder
Square in the chest. No effect.
Dana Scully
And then he sort of flew at me like a flying squirrel.
Fox Mulder
Well, I don't think I'll use the phrase... "flying squirrel" when I talk to Skinner, but, yeah, that's what happened.
Scene 28
SCULLY'S ROOM
Fox Mulder (voice-over)
You checked on me, then left to pursue Ronnie Strickland into the woods. Once I recovered, I knew what I had to do.
Ronnie Strickland
Help me! Help!
Scene 29
FOREST - OPENING SCENE OF SHOW
Fox Mulder (voice-over)
I caught sight of him, chased him over hill and dale. And in the end--
[ shouts ]
Scene 30
TODAY X FILES OFFICE
Dana Scully
Mulder, it's not just me. Nobody in their right mind will ever believe that story.
Fox Mulder
They'll have to, once they examine Ronnie Strickland's body.
[ sighs ]
Scene 31
DALLAS FORT WORTH PATHOLOGY LAB
Coroner
"case 0026198. Ronald lavelle Strickland." probable cause of death-- gee, that's a tough one.
[ grunting ]
[ stake clatters on tray ]
[ tools clattering ]
[ hisses ]
[ gasps ]
[ growls ]
[ knuckle cracks ]
[ phone rings ]
Scene 32
FBI HEADQUARTERS
Kimberly
Assistant director Skinner's office. Oh, I'm sorry. He's about to go into a meeting. Yes, it may last several hours. You're welcome.
Dana Scully
Mulder. Please just keep reminding him you were drugged.
Fox Mulder
[ whispering ] would you stop that?
Dana Scully
It couldn't hurt.
Fox Mulder
Just stop it.
Walter Skinner
Scully? Mulder?
Fox Mulder
I was drugged!
Walter Skinner
[ sighs ] I want you back in Texas. Ronnie Strickland's body has disappeared from the morgue. Apparently in conjunction with this, a coroner's been attacked. His throat was bitten.
Fox Mulder
The coroner's dead?
Walter Skinner
No, his throat was bitten. He was sort of... Gnawed on. Daylight's burning, agents.
[ door closes ]
Dana Scully
Well-- he was dead.
Fox Mulder
I noticed that.
Dana Scully
With a stake through his heart.
Fox Mulder
I noticed that too.
Scene 33
CEMETERY - NIGHT
Dana Scully
So we should find Ronnie out here because?
Fox Mulder
Because tradition states that a vampire needs to sleep in his native soil.
Dana Scully
Oh.
Fox Mulder
Yeah.
Dana Scully
But, Mulder, he had fake fangs. Why would a real vampire need fake fangs? I mean, for the sake of argument.
Fox Mulder
No, fangs are very rarely mentioned in the folklore. Real vampires aren't thought to have them. It's more an invention of bram stoker's. You were right before when you said that this is a guy who's watched too many dracula movies. He just happens to be a real vampire.
[ sighs ]
Dana Scully
Well, so where the hell is he?
Fox Mulder
What about his family, the ones who were gonna sue us for 446 million?
Dana Scully
Well, an aunt and an uncle. Their mail comes general delivery to a local post office.
Fox Mulder
No home address? That's the sheriff.
Dana Scully
Sheriff Hartwell.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Evening, agents. I heard y'all were back in town. Thought I might be of some assistance.
Fox Mulder
Yeah, a-actually you can. You can stay behind here with agent Scully while I check something out. Don't say I never did nothin' for ya.
Dana Scully
Where are you going?
Fox Mulder
Where might you be living if your mail came general delivery around here?
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
The r.v. Park?
Fox Mulder
You're good.
Scene 34
SHERIFF'S CAR
Dana Scully
Thanks.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
You're very welcome. So what do you think about vampires?
Dana Scully
You mean, aside from the fact that I don't believe in them?
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Yeah, aside from that.
Dana Scully
Well, they're supposed to be extremely charming, seductive. No, I mean, even if they did really exist, who's to say they'd actually be like that? As agent Mulder says, there are many different kinds of vampires.
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
Yeah, there sure are. I really need to apologize to you about Ronnie. He makes us all look bad.
Fox Mulder
Uh--
Sheriff Lucius Hartwell
He's just not who we are anymore. I mean, we pay taxes, we're good neighbors. Old Ronnie, he just-- he can't quite seem to grasp the concept... Of... Low profile. But though he may be a moron, he is one of our own.
[ cracking sound ]
[ door creaking ]
Scene 35
MOTOR HOME
Fox Mulder
Hello.
[ creaking ]
Fox Mulder
♪ 20th-century man that's what he is ♪ sleeping late.
[ growls ]
Fox Mulder
Ronnie Strickland! You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. Come on. Cut it out, Ronnie. [ Ronnie grunting ] oh, damn. Back! Ah, no! [ screaming ]
[ birds chirping ]
Scene 36
NEXT MORNING - FRONT SEAT OF CAR
Dana Scully
Mulder?
[ exhales ]
Fox Mulder
Scully, what happened?
Dana Scully
I came to in the cemetery. That's all I know.
[ horn honks ]
[ car door opens ]
Fox Mulder
They pulled up stakes.
Scene 37
SKINNER'S OFFICE
Walter Skinner
So that's it? They simply disappeared without a trace? And that's exactly the way it happened, from start to finish?
Dana Scully
Well, I can neither confirm nor deny agent Mulder's version of events... Which occurred outside my presence.
Fox Mulder
And I can neither confirm nor deny agent Scully's version of events, but, um--
Dana Scully
Anyway... I was drugged.
Fox Mulder
That is, essentially, exactly the way it happened.
Dana Scully
Essentially.
Fox Mulder (voice-over)
Except for the part about the buckteeth.
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About this transcript
The dialogue comes from the official DVD subtitle track supplied by Boggsfiles. Speaker and scene attribution was cross-checked against character-labelled reference material. Subtitle wording is preserved while capitalization and spacing are standardized for easier reading.