Younger Glazebrook Son
Stop!
Season 2 · Episode 20
Humbug
Character-labelled dialogue prepared from the official DVD subtitle track.
Production code2X20Original airdate · March 31, 1995
256 dialogue entries
Scene 01
GIBSONTON, FL
[ water splashing ]
[ children laughing, chattering ]
[ breathing heavily ]
[ chattering, laughing, splashing continue ]
[ dog barking ]
[ leaves crunching ]
[ laughing continues ]
[ all screaming ]
Younger Glazebrook Son
[ laughing ] oh, dad, you cut it out.
Older Glazebrook Son
I knew it was you, dad.
Jerald Glazebrook
Quit picking on your brother. Remember, he loves you.
Younger Glazebrook Son
No, I don't!
Older Glazebrook Son
I'm glad you're back home, dad.
Jerald Glazebrook
Not as glad as I am.
Older Glazebrook Son
Did you see a lot of weird stuff this year?
Jerald Glazebrook
Yep. It was the weirdest show ever. But right now, your mother thinks you guys are getting ready for bed. If she comes out here and finds you guys still in the pool, she's gonna kill me. So, come on. Out of the pool
[ kids protesting ]
Jerald Glazebrook
Quit your whining. [ labored breathing ] come on, if you want to get a bedtime story. Out you go. That's it.
Older Glazebrook Son
We don't even have school tomorrow.
[ labored breathing continues ]
Jerald Glazebrook
What the hell?
Scene 02
X-FILES OFFICE · FBI HEADQUARTERS · WASHINGTON, D.C.
[ screeches ]
[ grunts ]
[ screeches ]
[ screams ]
[ dad groaning ]
[ attacker screeching ]
Dana Scully
What happened to him?
Fox Mulder
Nothing you can ascertain from that photograph. The victim suffered from ichthyosis, a congenital skin disease characterized by the shedding... Of the epidermis in the form of scales. This shows the entry wound of the undetermined weapon. There were no other injuries inflicted upon the body. No internal organs were removed and/or cannibalized, and there's no signs of any sexual molestation either. That's 48 attacks over the last 28 years, occurring in every state in the continental u.s. Almost. The first in Oregon, the last five in Florida. The victims range from all different age groups, races, both male and female. The mutilations appear so motiveless that one would suspect some form of ritual. Yet they adhere to no known cult. A lone serial killer would have been expected... To escalate the level of violence of his attacks... Over such an extended period of time. So, what do you think, Scully? What are your initial thoughts?
Dana Scully
Imagine going through your whole life looking like this.
Scene 03
GIBSONTON, FL
Priest
The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his namesake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. Thou anointest my head with oil. My cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the lord forever. We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of jerald Glazebrook,
[ crying ]
Priest
Beloved husband, father, friend... And entertainer. [ crying continues ] we mourn not only the passing of a man... Who overcame the obstacles of his earthly incarnation, but also the passing of the love that dwelled... Within his all-too-human heart. We mourn the passing of the admiration and the respect he instilled... In all of his professional colleagues. We mourn the passing of the laughter and the enjoyment... He brought each audience who saw him. For although Jerry was a world-renowned escape artist, there is one strong box from which none of us can escape. [ clattering ]
[ gasping, murmuring ]
Sheriff Hamilton
Help me!
Man #1
I got it. [ all grunting ]
Woman #1
Come on, down here. [ gasping, murmuring continue ]
[ grunting ]
Man #2
[ man ] I can't believe it.
[ grunting continues ]
Blockhead
Not having known the deceased personally, I'm in no position to perform a proper eulogy. I'm sure he was a nice guy, etcetera, etcetera. But as an admirer of the man's work, I am in a position... To perform an impromptu tribute in his honor. Namely, ramming this spike into my chest!
[ crowd gasping ]
[ screams ]
Man #3
Don't you have any respect?
Blockhead
I think I hit my left ventricle!
Woman #2
This is a funeral!
Blockhead
Get back, fascists!
Man #4
Have a little respect! Get him out of here!
Woman #3
You're awful!
Woman
Attention-getter, that's all you are!
Fox Mulder
I can't wait for the wake.
Scene 04
PHIL'S DINER
Fox Mulder
On his vicap form, jerald Glazebrook's occupation was listed as "artist."
Sheriff Hamilton
Jerry was an artist. The best escape artist since Houdini. He should have been headlining vegas, but his skin condition kept him on the sideshow circuit.
Dana Scully
I didn't realize that sideshows were still in existence.
Sheriff Hamilton
There are about two or three of them still around.
Fox Mulder
I got the impression that Glazebrook... Wasn't the only sideshow performer residing here.
Sheriff Hamilton
The town was founded back in the '20s... When some of barnum and bailey's troops started coming down here... During the winter off-seasons.
Dana Scully
This town's history might help explain our case's history. A sideshow performer would have toured much of the country over the years. And their isolation from everyday society caused by their physical deformities... Could have built up pathological resentment so intense that murder--
Sheriff Hamilton
Now, now, hold on a second. Around here, we refer to them as "very special people." now, some of them may be different on the outside, but it's what's inside that counts; and on the inside, they're as normal as anybody.
Dana Scully
Until their arrests, many serial killers... Are considered by their friends and family to be quite normal. If you truly regard these people as normal, then you must also consider the possibility... That they are capable of committing these crimes.
Sheriff Hamilton
It's just been my experience that other people have... A harder time accepting these people's deformities than they do themselves.
Fox Mulder
Sheriff, what is this? This design here, it's copyrighted by Hepcat Helm.
[ chuckles ]
Fox Mulder
Is that a local artist?
Sheriff Hamilton
A bit too local. His workplace is right behind my station house.
Fox Mulder
Do you think that we could meet Hepcat?
Scene 05
HEPCAT HELM'S WORKSHOP
♪♪ [ '50s rock ]
Music (radio)
♪ watch my eyes when you light them up ♪
[ door closes ]
♪♪ [ continues ]
Sheriff Hamilton
Hepcat? Hepcat!
Music (radio)
♪ I'm in a frenzy ♪
♪♪ [ off ]
Hepcat Helm
[ sighs ] who are the rubes?
Sheriff Hamilton
These are FBI agents Scully and Mulder. This is Hepcat Helm. He operates a carnival fun house.
Hepcat Helm
Oh, man! How many times have I told you not to call it that? It's not some rinky-dink carny ride. Hell scared out of 'em. It's not a fun house. It's a tabernacle of terror.
Sheriff Hamilton
It's a fun house.
Fox Mulder
Mr. Helm, I wanted to ask you about this menu illustration. I recognize most of the historical portraits you've drawn here, but what's this here?
Hepcat Helm
It's the Fiji mermaid.
Sheriff Hamilton
Is that what that thing is?
Dana Scully
What's the Fiji mermaid?
Hepcat Helm
The Fiji mermaid-- it's-- it's the Fiji mermaid!
Sheriff Hamilton
It's a bit of a humbug barnum pulled in the last century.
Hepcat Helm
Now, barnum billed it as a real live mermaid, but when people went in to see it, all they saw... Was a real dead monkey sown on to the tail of a fish.
Fox Mulder
It's a monkey?
Hepcat Helm
A mummified monkey.
Sheriff Hamilton
It supposedly looked so bad, he had to exhibit it as a "genuine fake."
Hepcat Helm
Oh, but see? That's why barnum was a genius. You never know where the truth ends and the humbug begins. He came right out and said, "this Fiji mermaid thing is just a bunch of b.s." that just made people want to go and see it even more. So, I mean, who knows? Maybe for box office reasons barnum hocked it as a hoax. But in reality--
Fox Mulder
The Fiji mermaid was a reality. Sheriff, we're gonna need to find a place to stay tonight.
Sheriff Hamilton
There are lodgings right across the way. But what's this about?
Fox Mulder
These tracks were found at several of the past few crime scenes. They've defied exact identification, but one expert speculated... That they might be simian in nature.
Sheriff Hamilton
You don't mean to tell me you think these tracks were made by the Fiji mermaid?
Dana Scully
Do you recall what barnum said about suckers?
Scene 06
GULF BREEZE TRAILER COURT
[ electricity arcing ]
[ dog whining ]
Fox Mulder
Tell me, have you done much circus work in your life?
Mr. Nutt
And what makes you think I've ever spectated a circus, much less been enslaved by one?
Fox Mulder
I know that many of the citizens here are former circus hands, and I thought maybe--
Mr. Nutt
You thought that because I am a person of short stature... That the only career I could procure for myself... Would be one confined to the so-called big top. You took one quick look at me and decided that you could deduce my entire life. Never would it have occurred to you that a person of my height... Could have possibly obtained a degree in hotel management.
Fox Mulder
I'm sorry. I meant no offense.
Mr. Nutt
Well, then, why should I take offense? Just because it's human nature to make instantaneous judgments of others... Based solely upon their physical appearances? Why, I've done the same thing to you, for example. I've taken in your all-american features, your dour demeanor, your unimaginative necktie design... And concluded that you work for the government. An FBI agent. But do you see the tragedy here? I have mistakenly reduced you to a stereotype-- a caricature-- instead of regarding you as a specific, unique individual.
Fox Mulder
But I am an FBI agent.
[ dog whining ]
Mr. Nutt
Register here, please.
[ rings ]
Fox Mulder
Tell me, have you done much circus work in your life?
Lanny
I was on the stage for most of my life. I was a headliner.
Dana Scully
Did it not bother you to have people staring at you?
Lanny
Best work I ever had. All I had to do was stand there. Occasionally, I'd say, "ladies and gentlemen, "I'd like you to meet my brother, Leonard. Excuse him. He's a little shy." big laughs, I tell you, big laughs.
Fox Mulder
Why'd you give it up?
Lanny
Mr. Nutt, the kindhearted manager here, convinced me that to make a living... By publicly displaying my deformity lacked dignity. So now I carry other people's luggage. I believe these are your trailers. If they are not, then I am wrong. Oh, that's most considerate. Thank you very much. Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite. No. No, that's not what I meant. I-I didn't mean to imply we had bedbugs. I-I meant to say, "don't let-- don't let the--"
Fox Mulder
The Fiji mermaids bite.
Lanny
Yes, that's right. The Fiji mermaids. That's right. That's-- th-that's exactly--
[ mumbling ]
Dana Scully
Mulder, what is this Fiji mermaid business?
Fox Mulder
Every murder investigation begins with a list of possible suspects. You should try not to be so exclusive, Scully.
Dana Scully
As long as you try not to let the atmosphere of this town... Distort your list all out of proportion.
Scene 09
SCULLY'S TRAILER
Music (radio)
♪ I'm in a frenzy ♪ ♪ frenzy ♪ ♪ this love gushes from my heart ♪ ♪ like water from the spout ♪ ♪ you built a flame from a tiny spark ♪ ♪ you can really knock me out ♪ ♪ yeah, ease my mind with your real cool line, daddy ♪ ♪ fill my thought with love divine ♪ ♪ when you say you're mine all mine ♪ ♪ I'm in a frenzy ♪
♪♪ [ continues ]
[ labored breathing ]
Hepcat Helm
What the hell?
[ screaming ]
[ panting ]
[ water splashing ]
[ ticking ]
[ birds singing ]
[ chattering ]
[ knock at door ]
Lanny
Ah, ma'am-- [ panting ] the sheriff-- he, uh, wants to see you.
[ chattering continues ]
Lanny
There's been another murder.
Scene 10
HEPCAT HELM'S WORKSHOP
Fox Mulder
Hey, Scully, there's some blood on the window here we should send to the lab.
Dana Scully
Why run a test on the victim's blood?
Fox Mulder
No, not this window. This window. This seems to be the point of entry, and there's a... Smear of blood on the outside of the window.
Dana Scully
Why would there be blood before the attack?
Sheriff Hamilton
Why didn't the attacker just come through the open door? For a person to crawl in and out of these windows, they'd have to be a contortionist... Or just plain crazy... Or both.
Scene 11
GULF BREEZE TRAILER COURT
[ man grunting ]
Fox Mulder
While they're performing the autopsy, I wanna go down to the--
[ grunting continues ]
Dana Scully
Yes!
Blockhead
How many people do you know that can get out of a straitjacket in under three minutes?
Dana Scully
Fortunately, none.
[ grunts ]
Fox Mulder
We caught your act yesterday at the funeral. That was some trick with the railroad spike.
Blockhead
Dr. Blockhead does not perform tricks. Dr. Blockhead performs astounding acts... Of body manipulation and pain endurance.
[ tapping nail ]
Dana Scully
You must be one of those rare individuals... Whose nerve endings don't register pain.
Blockhead
You just keep telling yourself that.
Fox Mulder
Have you ever performed this, uh, "act" on anyone else?
Blockhead
What, are you sick? I tell my audiences that if they're stupid enough to try this themselves, they'll end up with a slight lobotomy. I am a professional.
Fox Mulder
Exactly how does one become a professional blockhead? May I?
Blockhead
Starting in my homeland of yemen, I studied with yogis, fakirs and swamis, learning the ancient arts of body manipulation. But most men know nothing of these arts. For instance, did you know that through the protective chinese practice of tiea bu shan, you can train your testicles to draw up into your abdomen?
Fox Mulder
I'm doing that as we speak.
[ gasps ]
Fox Mulder
I saw him this morning down by the river. He was eating a fish.
Blockhead
He knows between-show snacks will ruin his appetite.
Fox Mulder
I could be mistaken. Maybe it was another bald-headed, jigsaw-puzzle-tattooed, naked guy I saw.
Dana Scully
Is this man also a body manipulator?
Blockhead
No, in the classical sense, the conundrum's a geek.
Fox Mulder
He eats live animals.
Blockhead
He eats anything-- live animals, dead animals, rocks, light bulbs, corkscrews, battery cables, cranberries.
Dana Scully
Human flesh?
Blockhead
Only the conundrum can answer that question. But he doesn't answer questions. He merely poses them. When an audience partakes in the conundrum's human piranha act, they are left to ask themselves, "why?" but where are my manners?
Dana Scully
Thank you. It's an old slight of hand my uncle once taught me. He was only an amateur magician, but he was still better than those two.
Fox Mulder
I'm going over to the lab to see if they can test the blood on the window... Against the blood on dr. Blockhead's nail. Everybody's uncle's an amateur magician.
[ bell dinging ]
Scene 12
GIBSONTON MUSEUM OF CURIOSITIES
Curator
Welcome to my museum. May I put to rest any questions you may have conjured?
Dana Scully
I was just reading about the fascinating life of chang and eng... And, uh, wondering if their death was just as fascinating.
Curator
Oh, very much so. On a cold january eve in 1874, eng awoke to find his brother had passed away during the course of the night. A few hours later, eng himself departed from this world. Now, these facts themselves may be less than fascinating, but imagine-- imagine being eng... And lying there knowing... That essentially half your body was now dead, that the rest must inevitably follow... And being able to do about it absolutely nothing. At the autopsy, it was officially concluded... That chang died of a cerebral hemorrhage.
Dana Scully
And what was the official cause of eng's death?
Curator
Fright.
Dana Scully
Do you have any information on blockhead or geek acts?
Curator
This is an historical collection on human curiosities. Blockheads are skilled performers.
Dana Scully
Like magicians?
Curator
Like sword swallowers who really do swallow swords. And geeks are neither skilled nor curiosities. They're merely unseemly. Not even attaining the level of gaffs. "
Dana Scully
Gaffs"?
Curator
Observe closely the dissimilarity of the facial features. Conjoined twins are always identical. These gentlemen are phonies-- gaffs.
[ chuckling ]
Dana Scully
Sort of like the Fiji mermaid?
Curator
You're investigating the alligator man's murder, yes? I have something I believe you might find of some interest.
Dana Scully
What does this have to do with the Glazebrook murder?
Curator
I've recently come into possession of an authentic p.t. Barnum exhibit. Now, I don't show this display to all my customers. Only those with the intellectual curiosity to appreciate it. Barnum billed it as a "great unknown." I must first ask of you two favors: tell no soul what you witness in here.
Dana Scully
And the second favor?
Curator
An additional donation of five dollars.
[ door creaking ]
[ wind howling ]
[ door buzzing ]
[ car horns honking ]
[ man grunting ]
[ gun clicks ]
Scene 13
SCULLY'S TRAILER
Fox Mulder
Does agent Scully know that you're under her crawl space?
Mr. Nutt
I was merely repairing the plumbing on this unit. I know what you're thinking, my friend, but you are grossly mistaken. Just because I'm not of so-called average height... Does not mean I must receive my thrills vicariously. Not all women are attracted to overly tall, lanky men such as yourself. You'd be surprised how many women find my size intriguingly alluring.
Fox Mulder
And you'd be surprised how many men do, as well.
[ scoffs ]
Dana Scully
Oh, it's you. Is mr. Nutt finished with the plumbing?
Fox Mulder
The blood from the window matched the blood from the nail, but they were both "o" positive. They've been sent for further analysis. I ran a background check on dr. Blockhead. His real name is jeffrey swaim, and he wasn't born in yemen. He was born in milwaukee. He does not hold a doctorate.
Dana Scully
Well, I ended up running a bit of a background check myself.
Fox Mulder
On who?
Dana Scully
On an orphan discovered in the wild forest of albania in 1943. "although physically adept at catching his own food, "he could not speak a word, save for a few savage grunts. "brought to this country, he was exhibited behind a locked cage, "necessitated by his feral ferocity, where he would terrify onlookers by devouring chunks of raw meat." however, for reasons I could not ascertain, he ran away from the circus and spent a vague number of years... Mysteriously roaming about, supporting himself through a number of nondescript jobs. Eventually he wound up in gibsonton, where he took up a career in law enforcement... And has spent the past four terms serving as sheriff.
Fox Mulder
You're talking about sheriff Hamilton?
Dana Scully
I'm telling you that before becoming sheriff Hamilton, james Hamilton was jim-jim the dog-faced boy.
Scene 14
SHERIFF HAMILTON'S HOUSE
[ grunting ]
Fox Mulder
You know, Scully, hypertrichosis does not connote lycanthropy.
Dana Scully
What are you implying?
Fox Mulder
We're being highly discriminatory here. Just because a man was once afflicted with excessive hairiness, we've no reason to suspect him of aberrant behavior.
Dana Scully
It's like assuming guilt based solely on skin color, isn't it?
Fox Mulder
Yeah.
[ sheriff clears throat ]
Sheriff Hamilton
May I ask what you're doing?
Fox Mulder
We're exhuming... Your potato.
Sheriff Hamilton
May I ask why?
Dana Scully
Sheriff, it's been documented that many serial killers... Possess a fascination with police work. Some of them even holding positions on their local force. So, surveillance of investigation team members... Is often utilized as a precautionary--
Fox Mulder
We found out you used to be a dog-faced boy.
Sheriff Hamilton
Boy, look how skinny I was back then.
Dana Scully
So that is you?
Sheriff Hamilton
Oh, sure. I spent the first half of my life as jim-jim. Then one morning I noticed a bald spot on top of my head... And realized I wasn't only losing my hair, but my career as well. Eventually, all the hair went. On top of my head, anyways. The rest of my body's still pretty hairy, which is... Why I never go to the beach.
Dana Scully
That doesn't quite explain the potato.
Sheriff Hamilton
I got, uh, some warts on my hand.
Fox Mulder
That doesn't quite explain the potato.
Sheriff Hamilton
To get rid of warts, you rub a sliced potato on your hand... And bury it under a full moon. The investigation isn't going too well, is it?
[ barking ]
[ whining ]
[ barking continues ]
[ grunts ]
Scene 15
TRAILER PARK
Mr. Nutt
So, tell me, commodore, why are the weirdos...
[ growling ]
Mr. Nutt
The only ones that pay their rent checks in advance?
[ barking ]
Mr. Nutt
I warn you, you tattooed cretin. I have a licensed firearm, and I am more than eager for an opportunity to use it!
Scene 16
Scene 16
[ growling, barking continue ]
Scene 17
MISTER NUTT'S TRAILER
[ screaming ]
[ screeching ]
[ screaming ]
[ footsteps approaching ]
[ gasps ]
Lanny
I found him. He's dead. He's dead.
Sheriff Hamilton
Lanny says all the doors and windows... Were locked from the inside.
Fox Mulder
Scully, come here.
Lanny
He was like a brother to me.
Fox Mulder
I don't know if a contortionist could get through that doggie door. But look at this.
[ shouting ]
Sheriff Hamilton
Lanny! Lanny! Take it easy. You're gonna hurt yourself.
Lanny
So what?
Sheriff Hamilton
So you might hurt me in the process. He gets this way sometimes. I'll have to toss him in the drunk tank.
Fox Mulder
We'll take jeffrey swaim into custody.
Sheriff Hamilton
Come on, Lanny. Let's go.
Dana Scully
You know, Mulder, for a while there... I was beginning to suspect this case involved something a bit more, um--
Fox Mulder
Freakish? You really shouldn't complain about banality, Scully, when your main suspect is the human blockhead.
Scene 18
DOCTOR BLOCKHEAD'S TRAILER
[ knock at door ]
Blockhead
It's open!
Dana Scully
Mr. Swaim, federal agents. We're here to--
Blockhead
It's a variation of an american indian sun dance ritual. I suspend myself... By these hooks, and the pain becomes so unbearable, I leave my body. If people knew the true price of spirituality, there'd be more atheists.
Dana Scully
Mr. Swaim, we're here to take you into custody... To question you about some recent murders.
Blockhead
I don't answer any questions till I talk to my lawyer.
Fox Mulder
Who's your lawyer?
Blockhead
I represent myself.
Dana Scully
Sir, if you're going to be uncooperative, I'll have to handcuff you.
Blockhead
What gives you fascists the right to do that?
Dana Scully
Did I not mention we're federal agents?
[ grunts ]
Blockhead
Did I not mention I'm an escape artist?
[ gasping ]
Dana Scully
Mulder, are you okay?
Fox Mulder
It's more comfortable than a futon.
Sheriff Hamilton
Hey, look what I caught.
Blockhead
Ouch!
Scene 19
POLICE STATION
[ rustling ]
[ rustling continues ]
Lanny
What the hell? No! No!
[ squealing ]
Lanny
No!
[ Lanny moaning ]
Blockhead
This has all the makings of one of those mistaken identity, miscarriage-of-justice things that prove so popular on 60 minutes.
Fox Mulder
Does this belong to you?
Blockhead
The fifth amendment of our beloved constitution says--
[ moaning continues ]
Fox Mulder
What is that?
Sheriff Hamilton
It's Lanny in the drunk tank. He'll be all right once he sleeps it off.
Dana Scully
No, I don't think he's gonna sleep this one off.
Fox Mulder
There's been another attack.
Sheriff Hamilton
How could anyone have gotten in there?
Dana Scully
No one got in, but someone got out.
Fox Mulder
What are you talking about?
Dana Scully
I'm not sure myself, Mulder, but I think we'll know more when we find Leonard.
Fox Mulder
"Leonard"?
Dana Scully
Lanny's brother.
[ moans ]
Sheriff Hamilton
Oh, god, they extracted the twin.
Dana Scully
No, the twin extracted itself.
Fox Mulder
But it's an appendage.
Dana Scully
Yeah, Mulder. This wound is identical to the other victims' wounds, with one exception-- he's not bleeding.
Sheriff Hamilton
If you're trying to tell me his twin brother can crawl out of his body... And then go gallivantin' around town, you're as drunk as he is.
Dana Scully
You said it yourself, sheriff. It's what's inside that counts. I have a feeling that Lanny has an internal anomaly... That allows his conjoining twin to disjoin.
Fox Mulder
But how? How could-- how--
Lanny
How could I turn him in without turning myself in?
Dana Scully
Lanny, why does he attack other people?
Lanny
I don't think he knows he's harming anyone. He's merely seeking... Another brother.
[ sobbing ]
Sheriff Hamilton
Are you in pain, Lanny?
Lanny
It hurts. It hurts not to be wanted. I don't know why he hates me so. I've taken care of him for all of our lives. Maybe that is the reason why.
Dana Scully
How long can he survive outside of your body?
Lanny
Long enough... To understand that you cannot change the way you were born. Don't worry. He'll come back. He always does. I'm still his only brother.
Fox Mulder
Sheriff, we're gonna need the paramedics.
[ clattering ]
Fox Mulder
Scully, you're the medical expert. If you think the twin can disengage, I believe you. But how mobile could such a thing be?
Dana Scully
Too mobile.
Blockhead
So, your twin can, uh-- and then--
[ door closes ]
Blockhead
What an act!
[ squealing ]
Dana Scully
I'll cover the back.
[ whirring ]
[ creaking ]
[ Leonard gurgling ]
Dana Scully
[ clatter ] freeze!
[ whirring ]
[ shrieking ]
[ maniacal laughter ]
Dana Scully
What? The fun house.
[ gurgling continues ]
[ Leonard breathing heavily, gurgling ]
[ screeching ]
Fox Mulder
[ gasps ] I thought I heard a shot fired.
Dana Scully
I think we'd better go outside and catch this thing coming out.
[ growling, barking ]
Dana Scully
It's the manager's dog.
Fox Mulder
The trailer park.
Scene 21
GULF BREEZE TRAILER COURT
[ Leonard breathing heavily ]
[ gurgling ]
[ screaming ]
[ Leonard screeching ]
Dana Scully
Are you all right?
Fox Mulder
Have you seen a, uh, uh--
[ stomach growling ]
[ police radio chatter ]
Sheriff Hamilton
Check out the area behind that trailer, and let me know what you find. All right. Now, you're sure it was the twin you saw runnin' around here? Maybe it was the Fiji mermaid and he jumped back in the river and swum his way back to Fiji.
Fox Mulder
Now you know how I feel.
Dana Scully
You're taking off?
Blockhead
Are you kidding? With that thing still on the loose?
Dana Scully
They've been searching for it all day. It can't have sustained itself for this long.
Blockhead
It'll probably try to crawl back up into its brother.
Dana Scully
No, his brother Lanny died last night. I already performed the autopsy on him this morning.
Blockhead
So I guess it's true, you can never go home again.
Dana Scully
His body wounds were nonfatal. He died as a result of advanced cirrhosis of the liver.
Blockhead
Oh, there's a moral to this story-- "lay off the booze."
Dana Scully
His body possesses some anatomical discrepancies-- some offshoots of the esophagus and trachea that almost seem umbilical in nature. I've never seen anything like it.
Blockhead
And you never will again. Twenty-first century genetic engineering will not only eradicate... The siamese twins and the alligator-skinned people, but you're gonna be hard-pressed to find a slight overbite or a not-so-high cheekbone. You see, I've seen the future, and the future looks just like him. Imagine going through your whole life looking like that. That's why it's left up to the self-made freaks like me... And the conundrum to remind people.
Dana Scully
Remind people of what?
Blockhead
Nature abhors normality. It can't go very long without creating a mutant. Do you know why?
Dana Scully
No, why?
Blockhead
I don't either. It's a mystery. Maybe some mysteries are never meant to be solved.
Fox Mulder
What's the matter with your friend?
Blockhead
I don't know what his problem is. Maybe it's the Florida heat.
Dana Scully
I hope it's nothing serious.
Conundrum
Probably something I ate.
[ car backfires ]
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About this transcript
The dialogue comes from the official DVD subtitle track supplied by Boggsfiles. Speaker and scene attribution was cross-checked against character-labelled reference material. Subtitle wording is preserved while capitalization and spacing are standardized for easier reading.