Announcer
This is really shining right out into the studio. [ laughs ]
Season 6 · Episode 8
The Rain King
Character-labelled dialogue prepared from the official DVD subtitle track.
Production code6ABX07Original airdate · January 10, 1999
335 dialogue entries
Scene 01
Opening scene
[ TV: indistinct ]
[ switches channel ]
Announcer
The malfunction cut off power to rural parts of kroner county. Up next, the amazing story of two giant pandas in love. But first, let's check in with Holman Hardt and the weather.
Holman
Well, still no rain in sight for the kroner hills region, as yet another winter storm passes south of us. I'll have all the numbers and my five-day forecast right after this.
[ door opens, closes ]
Sheila
Hey, baby, you're home early.
Daryl
Sheila, we got a really big problem here. What in the hell were you thinking?
Sheila
Happy valentine's day.
Daryl
We made a deal. We agreed to keep the engagement secret until I said so.
Sheila
I know, but I just wanted everybody in town to know... Why I've been so happy the last few months.
Holman
Another bone-dry day. Current temperature in kroner is 45 degrees.
Sheila
I know business has been slow, but we can't stop living... Just 'cause it hasn't rained in a spell.
Daryl
Maybe we should just call off the engagement.
Sheila
Don't do this. Not today. It'll rain soon. I can feel it.
Daryl
I just need time to think. Oh, look at that. And you wonder why your ass is so big.
[ door opens, closes ]
Daryl
"it'll rain soon. I can feel it."
[ engine starting ]
[ static, stations changing ]
Music
♪ what I got they used to call the blues ♪ ♪ nothin' is really wrong ♪ ♪ feelin' like I don't belong ♪
Radio
[ continues on car radio ] ♪ walkin' around ♪
Daryl And Radio
[ singing along ] ♪ some kind of lonely clown ♪
Music
♪ rainy days and mondays always get me down ♪ ♪ funny, but it seems I always wind up here with you ♪ ♪ nice to know somebody loves me ♪ ♪ funny, but it seems that it's the only thing to do ♪ ♪ only thing to do ♪
Radio
♪ run and find the one who loves me ♪
Daryl
I'll be damned.
Music
♪ what I feel has come and gone before ♪
Daryl
Yee-haw! Ow! ♪
Radio
No need to talk it out ♪
Music
♪ we know what it's all about ♪ ♪ hangin' around ♪
Radio
♪ nothin' to do but frown ♪ whoa!
Music
♪ rainy days and mondays always get me down ♪ ♪ hangin' around ♪ ♪ nothin' to do but frown ♪ ♪ rainy days and mondays always get ♪ ♪ me down ♪♪
♪♪ [ band playing march ]
Scene 02
KRONER, KANSAS
Dana Scully
Don't look at me. This was your idea.
Mayor
Agent Mulder, welcome to kroner. I'm jim gilmore, the mayor. We spoke on the phone.
Fox Mulder
Nice to meet you.
Mayor
If I'd have known you was bringing the missus with you... I'd have arranged for fancier accommodations.
Dana Scully
I'm agent Scully, agent Mulder's partner. I'm sure the accommodations will be just fine.
Mayor
My apologies, ma'am. We appreciate your flying clear out here to help solve our crisis. I'd hoped for a bigger welcome, but, well-- okay, rhonda. That's enough. Go find your mama.
Dana Scully
Uh, sir, you mentioned a crisis. Agent Mulder has been a little, uh, vague... As to the specifics of this crisis.
Mayor
It's all around us-- runted crops, field fires, bankruptcies. This drought is destroying people's lives, and it's wrong for a single man to prosper at the expense of others.
Dana Scully
A single man?
Mayor
Daryl Mootz. He's a local fella charging people for rain.
Dana Scully
You mean cloud seeding?
Mayor
The hell I do. I mean, he shows up at a farm, does his dog and pony act and the heavens weep.
Dana Scully
Well, sir, if this man Mootz could, in fact, somehow produce rain, then what's the crime?
Mayor
I believe Daryl's causing the drought... So he can charge folks for the rain.
Dana Scully
And this is what you told agent Mulder when you spoke earlier?
Mayor
Yes, ma'am. He seemed real eager to help us.
Scene 03
Scene 03
Fox Mulder
Come on, Scully. You act like I intentionally misled you. Over the past 30 years, this town has had more tornadoes, heat waves and hail storms than any other town in the country. It's like ground zero for extreme weather.
Dana Scully
A man... Controlling... The weather.
Fox Mulder
Well, if that's true-- if Daryl Mootz is controlling the weather for profit-- then that is a crime, and that should be investigated.
Dana Scully
Mulder, I see the vacant buildings. I see the signs. These people are scared. But there have always been droughts and natural disasters... And people are always looking for a scapegoat.
Fox Mulder
Yeah, but how many scapegoats lease office space? Agents Mulder and Scully with the FBI we're looking for Daryl Mootz.
Cindy
One second. Yes, ma'am. Appendix "c." that's right. I need a six-pack of beer, a carton of morley lights... And a big old bowl of jelly beans. And can you pick out all the green ones, 'cause he don't like the green ones. You're welcome. Now, what can I do for the FBI?
Fox Mulder
We want to see the king.
Cindy
I'm sorry, mr. Mootz is out of the state till this afternoon on business.
Fox Mulder
Well, when you say "on business," you mean he's making it rain?
Cindy
Uh-huh. He's just across the state line into nebraska, town of wymore.
Dana Scully
If we could get a list of all the people who have employed his services, it would be helpful.
Cindy
I don't understand. Has he-- don't y'all need a warrant or a subpoena or something like that?
Dana Scully
We usually just say "please."
Cindy
What are you investigating Daryl for? He's a hero in this community.
Dana Scully
So you actually believe that he makes it rain?
Cindy
I know it to be fact. He saved my daddy's farm. How dare you people!
Holman
The only rain in the area is localized up around wymore.
Cindy
See? Daryl's making that rain.
Dana Scully
Is it possible that he could have just followed it up there?
Cindy
Here's your damn client list. Thank you. You'll see. Every one a satisfied customer.
Fox Mulder
This, uh, TV station. Is that far from here?
Scene 04
KPJK TELEVISION STUDIO
Sheila
Oh! We were beginning to worry that you wouldn't make it. Ahh! Is this your first time in a TV studio? How exciting. I couldn't be happier for the two of you.
Dana Scully
I'm not su--
Sheila
Holman, I'd like to introduce you to the gundersons.
Holman
Congratulations! I hope you have a truly romantic getaway.
Sheila
Aren't you glad you watch channel 5 weather?
Dana Scully
We're agents Mulder and Scully. We're with the FBI
Sheila
FBI? Oh, my goodness! I thought you were the "watch the weather and Win" contest winners.
Holman
See, we haven't had any rain in months and, well, people tend to blame the messenger.
Sheila
Oh, there's the gundersons. Over here!
Fox Mulder
It's like looking in a mirror.
Holman
When I first saw the pair of you... I thought you were rather smartly dressed for a farm couple. Make yourselves at home.
Fox Mulder
Well, from what I've read about kroner, you've had more than your fair share of unusual weather.
Holman
Well, we certainly have. To you, kroner must seem small and simple. But through the eyes of meteorology-- low pressure systems, storm fronts, tornado watches-- kroner is sophisticated, complex and, well, sexy. And... Frankly, I can't imagine a more exciting place to be a meteorologist.
Dana Scully
Uh, mr. Hardt, what can you tell us about Daryl Mootz?
Holman
The mayor called you in, didn't he? He thinks Daryl's causing the drought.
Dana Scully
You don't think he's responsible.
Holman
Of course not. A huge high pressure system is the primary culprit. There's no credible evidence to suggest that Daryl, or any man, can be held accountable for our predicament.
Dana Scully
Thank you. Can we go now?
Fox Mulder
No. What about the rain?
Holman
That's a more clouded issue, if you'll excuse my pun.
Fox Mulder
Now, I have a list of over 40 names here-- people in four different counties-- who claim that Daryl Mootz has made it rain for them.
Holman
I went to high school with Daryl. Different social circles, and frankly, he's about the last man I would give credit to for anything--
Dana Scully
I hear a big "but" coming.
Holman
Daryl appears to be the real deal. I can't explain it, but... Where he wanders, showers follow.
Scene 05
MONROE FARM
Dana Scully
Look at the desperation on these people's faces, Mulder. They're ready to believe anything.
Fox Mulder
According to his schedule, the king should've been here by now.
Farmer And Family
Here he comes! There he is. Right here. He's here. He's here! Oh, isn't that sweet? That's sweet.
Daryl
Man! What could we use around here? A little rain?
Unidentified speaker
Yeah.
Daryl
Oh, look at this! Ah! Take these, will you, somebody?
Unidentified speaker
Ahh! [ sighs ] mm.
Daryl
That is the wrong damn boot, now, isn't it, hon? Be a good girl, and go on and get me the red snakeskin. Well, looky here. The FBI
Dana Scully
We just came to see the show. I guess, uh, we're a little early.
Daryl
O ye of little faith. That truck out there of mine... Is a whole lot faster than my rain clouds.
Cindy
Excuse me.
Daryl
Thank you.
Fox Mulder
How do you explain your unique ability?
Daryl
I don't. It's complicated.
Fox Mulder
Try me. I watch the weather channel.
Daryl
If you're wondering, did I ask for this gift, no, sir, I did not-- no more than I asked to lose this here limb. But I should've expected it, and I'll tell you why. Because I come from a long line of healing people. I'm a spiritual man, in touch... With the really real. The-- the unseen real.
♪♪ [ dance pop ]
Daryl
And I... Am 1/64th cherokee, and I can summon up my ancestors... To bring water to this thirsty land. Yeah!
Dana Scully
Mulder, what are we doing here?
Fox Mulder
Well, this is not without historical precedent. The old west was full of traveling men who claimed to be rainmakers. The pueblo indians even had a rain dance.
Dana Scully
That is not a rain dance. My irish aunt olive has more cherokee in her than Daryl Mootz. I mean, look at him, Mulder. Does that look like a man who can control the weather? [ thunderclap ]
[ delighted squeals ]
Unidentified speaker
Yeah, I Win! Hah!
Scene 06
Scene 06
Sheila
Are we still going to the reunion together on friday?
Holman
Absolutely. Social event of the decade.
Sheila
Hard to believe it's been 20 years since we finished high school. Where did the time go? What were those FBI people looking for?
Holman
Oh, they were asking questions about Daryl, about making it rain.
Sheila
I wish they'd just go back to wherever they came from... And leave him alone.
Holman
You don't still love him, do you? I can't believe you still care about him after the way he treated you.
Sheila
I know.
Holman
He never loved you, Sheila. All he cared about was your money, and as soon as he got some of his own-- he left.
Sheila
I know. But I think he used to love me.
Holman
There are other men who will love you more.
Sheila
FBI my lord. I don't think I'll be able to sleep knowin' they're pokin' around.
[ sighs ]
[ banging ]
[ exasperated sigh ]
[ rattling ]
[ lowing ]
[ gasps ]
Scene 08
Scene 08
Man With Chainsaw
Ma'am, unless you want to get covered in hamburger... I reckon you should step outside.
[ revving ]
Hotel Manager
Oh, miss, we moved your boyfriend's things into your room.
Dana Scully
He's my partner, and we prefer separate rooms.
Hotel Manager
Oh. Old fashioned, are you, huh? Well, we're booked solid with the high school reunion. You can take it or leave it.
Doctor
I don't even think you'll need stitches. We can just butterfly it. I've got my kit over in the car.
Fox Mulder
Scully, I don't think it's a coincidence that a cow gets hurled at me... Just as we're down here investigating the weather.
Dana Scully
Mulder, did they check you for head trauma?
Fox Mulder
I'm telling you, that cow had my name on it.
[ vehicle door closing ]
Holman
Agent Mulder, are you all right? I feel terrible. If there's anything I can do, please don't hesitate.
Dana Scully
[ Scully ] perhaps there is. Mr. Hardt, would you please reassure agent Mulder... That this cow incident was, in fact, a natural phenomenon?
Holman
With pleasure. Uh, it's my belief... That a mini twister picked that poor creature up, lifted it about 12,000 feet... Where the air cooled, and, uh-- I'm just grateful you weren't hurt any worse.
Sheila
[ Sheila ] excuse me.
Holman
You shouldn't be here.
Sheila
Holman, don't make this any harder. It's my fault. I did it.
[ crying ]
Sheila
I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. It's not something that I can control.
Fox Mulder
Are you saying that you're somehow responsible for--
Sheila
I murdered that poor cow!
Dana Scully
Uh, Holman just explained to us... That, uh, that a mini twister is what caused the accident.
Sheila
He's just being sweet, covering for me. He knows the truth. [ sighs ] this isn't the first time something like this has happened. The night of my senior prom, a tornado demolished our high school.
[ both scream ]
Sheila
And then on my wedding day, a day I'd always dreamed about, the ceremony was outdoors on the fourth of July weekend. It snowed six inches. Then three years later, my husband ran off... With some gal from the phone company. On the day that our divorce was finalized, I stepped out of the courthouse and-- you know how you-you-you can see shapes in those big, fluffy clouds? Well, I swear that every cloud in that big, blue sky... Was a face laughing at me. And that was about ten years ago, and that was the last time it happened until last night.
Fox Mulder
What's your connection to Daryl Mootz?
Sheila
Well, we used to be engaged.
[ Sheila sniffling ]
Dana Scully
You two were engaged?
Sheila
Yeah, about six months ago, and, um, we had a fight... And he took a drive and-- and a-- and a freak hailstorm cost him his leg.
Fox Mulder
And ever since then the rain's been following him.
Sheila
Am I under arrest?
Fox Mulder
No. I can tell you without a doubt that you're not responsible for any of that weather.
Sheila
Oh, but--
Fox Mulder
Agent Scully and I specialize in these types of cases, and-and-and although you may have had some bad luck, you didn't cause any of it.
Sheila
Oh. You're sure?
Fox Mulder
Yeah, yeah, I'm-I'm sure. Scully, you have any doubts?
Dana Scully
No. No doubts.
Fox Mulder
You see? It's fine.
[ relieved sigh ]
Sheila
I really want to believe you. Thanks.
Fox Mulder
You're welcome.
Doctor
That hailstorm didn't cause Daryl's car crash.
Fox Mulder
What are you talking about?
Doctor
Sure, the weather was bad, but Daryl was drunk and driving too fast.
Holman
Drunk? I never heard that.
Doctor
We all felt that Daryl losing his leg was punishment enough.
Scene 09
Scene 09
Daryl
People don't realize how hard a work this is. I mean, sure, it looks like I'm just sitting here, but my powers of concentration are-- oh, yeah. Oh, right there, right there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, you-- you're worth every penny. All right, what was I saying?
Cindy
" powers of concentration."
Daryl
Yeah, right. Right. My brain's functioning on something like-- I don't know-- 14 different levels, taking in a whole bunch of variables... Like wind velocity and-and humidity and--
Cindy
Daryl, do you hear that?
Daryl
Hear what?
Cindy
The rain stopped.
Daryl
Uh-oh.
[ door opening ]
Scene 10
Scene 10
Dana Scully
Next flight out is 10:00 tomorrow morning.
Fox Mulder
Look at this, Scully. September 20, 1991. It rained rose petals for nearly an hour.
Dana Scully
Mulder, we're going home. The rain stopped this afternoon. Daryl Mootz is being sued by about 50 people. There's no case, and you told Sheila yourself that she wasn't controlling the weather.
Fox Mulder
She's not. Neither is Daryl. Check this out. On the same day that it rained rose petals-- "irene Hardt, beloved wife and devoted mother... "passed away yesterday afternoon-- she's survived by one son, Holman Hardt."
Dana Scully
So now you're saying that--
Fox Mulder
Holman Hardt is manufacturing the weather. Did you see how relieved he was when he learned that Daryl was drunk? I've been doing some checking. Holman Hardt has been hospitalized five times with nervous exhaustion, each time coinciding with a major meteorological event.
Dana Scully
Mulder, it is still a huge leap... To say that he's manufacturing the weather.
Fox Mulder
Most people will admit that the weather plays a significant role in the way they feel, right? There's even that disorder--
Dana Scully
" sad." mm-hmm. Yeah. Seasonal affective disorder.
Fox Mulder
Well, who's to say that it doesn't work the other way around-- that the way someone feels can affect the weather, that the weather is somehow an expression of Holman Hardt's feelings. Or-or-or better still, the feelings that he's not expressing?
Scene 11
Scene 11
Holman
I've tried to say this a thousand times, tried to express the... Fire that burns inside this... Humble exterior. Sheila, you're the reason I remained in this town all these years. [ phone rings ] I wake up each day knowing-- hello?
Sheila
Holman, it's me. Working late?
Holman
Sh-Sheila, hi. Y-yeah, um-- I was just thinking about you. I'm looking forward to the reunion tomorrow night.
Sheila
Me too.
Holman
You sound in a good mood.
Sheila
Well, I am, Holman, and it's all because of you. I wanted to let you know that I've been thinking... About what you said about Daryl yesterday, and I realized that you were right.
Holman
I was?
Sheila
Yes, you were, and I am so over him. "Daryl who?" that's what I say. I realized that I've been chasing the wrong kind of guy. I need someone who I can talk to. I need someone who I can feel safe with.
Holman
I can't tell you what that means to me.
Sheila
Holman, I want to ask you something, and I hope that we can keep it our secret for the time being.
Holman
Of course, Sheila, anything.
Sheila
Well, what do you think of agent Mulder?
[ thunder crashing ]
[ knocking ]
Scene 12
Scene 12
Fox Mulder
Hey, Holman.
Holman
Agent Mulder.
Fox Mulder
I've come to say good-bye, Holman.
Holman
You're leaving?
Fox Mulder
Yeah. But I want you to get some help before you kill somebody.
Holman
Help? What are you talking about?
Fox Mulder
You know what I'm talking about. You're not just a weatherman. You're the weatherman. You're the person who's been affecting the weather.
Holman
Agent Mulder, if I could control the weather, don't you think I would make it rain? That I would end this drought?
Fox Mulder
I don't think it works that way. I don't think you do it on purpose. I just think you bottle up your emotions-- anger, grief or love or whatever-- and then as a response, it rains or hails or there's a flying cow.
Holman
That poor animal.
Fox Mulder
And whatever it is, you got to let it out.
Holman
I can't.
Fox Mulder
Yeah, you can. It's Sheila, isn't it? You love her. Yeah. You've always loved her. That, uh, tornado at the high school-- that was you, wasn't it?
Holman
The night of our senior prom, I, uh, accidentally stumbled upon her and her boyfriend... In flagrante delicto, and the next thing you know--
Fox Mulder
And you've never told her the way you feel.
Holman
How can a frog tell a swan that he loves her?
Fox Mulder
Well, you better tell her, or you're gonna kill somebody.
Holman
Well, you got to help me.
Fox Mulder
I got a plane to catch.
Holman
You can't go. If you don't help me, who will?
Fox Mulder
I am meeting my partner at the airport. [ cell phone rings ] excuse me. Hold on. [ beeps ] Mulder.
Dana Scully
Mulder, it's me.
Fox Mulder
I'm on my way.
Dana Scully
I'm not so sure. Have you looked outside lately? It's pea soup. Our plane can't take off until after this fog lifts.
Fox Mulder
Fog? Holman!
Dana Scully
Holman?
Fox Mulder
Yeah. He wants advice. Dating advice.
Dana Scully
Dating advice? From whom?
Fox Mulder
Yours truly. Hello? Hey, Scully. Scully, you there?
Dana Scully
I heard you. Mulder, when was the last time you went on a date?
Fox Mulder
I will talk to you later. [ beeps ]
Dana Scully
The blind leading the blind.
Scene 13
Scene 13
Daryl
This red number?
Cindy
Daryl, you're like one of those tragic rock stars. You know, like-- like jim morrison or kurt cobain. You just shine too bright for too short a time. We'll tell our kids all about it.
Daryl
Kids? Can't afford kids. If I don't come up with a lot of cash pronto, I am in deep doo-doo.
Cindy
Dairy queen'll take me back. I get almost $6.00 an hour.
Daryl
Shh! I'm thinking. There's got to be somebody--
Cindy
We'll get the money, baby.
Daryl
Sheila.
Cindy
What about her?
Daryl
Cindy, you have been real sweet and all, but I think we can use some time apart.
Cindy
What? Are you breaking up with me?
Daryl
Nothing personal.
Scene 14
Scene 14
Holman
I've been envious of men like you my whole life. Based on your physical bearing, I'd assumed you were... More experienced. I mean, you spend every day with agent Scully-- a beautiful, enchanting woman. And you two never, uh-- I confess, I find that shocking. I've seen how you two gaze at one another.
Fox Mulder
This is about you, Holman. I'm here to help you. I'm perfectly happy with my friendship with agent Scully.
Holman
So according to your theory, I walk in there, tell her I love her and the drought will end?
Fox Mulder
Just tell her how you feel. And, Holman, I do not gaze at Scully.
Holman
Hey.
Sheila
Hey. I can't find my notes for my... Presentation. Here they are.
Holman
You got a minute?
Sheila
For you, always. Are you excited about the high school reunion tonight?
Holman
Of course. Uh-- eh-- you're busy. We can talk later.
Sheila
Oh, what is it?
Holman
I-I-I-- I love you.
Sheila
I love you too.
[ sighs ]
Sheila
Holman, what's wrong?
Woman In Tv Station
Is that rain? Oh, my god! It is! [ thunderclap ] it's raining!
Fox Mulder
Well?
Sheila
Good afternoon, agent Mulder. See you tonight, Holman.
Fox Mulder
Ohh, you did it.
Holman
No, you did it.
Fox Mulder
What are you talking about?
Holman
She said that she loves me, but that she's in love with you.
Daryl
What do you mean there's somebody else?
Sheila
Daryl, this isn't the place.
Daryl
Just tell me who it is.
Sheila
Let me go!
Fox Mulder
Hey! Hey, Daryl. Cut it out, man.
Daryl
Him? This is the guy? Oh, what's he got that I ain't got?
Sheila
A job. A way with words. Intelligence. Good looks.
Daryl
Good looking? I'll show you good looking!
Sheila
Daryl, no! Not his face!
Fox Mulder
Daryl--
Sheila
Don't you hit him in the face!
Daryl
Oh, good. Picking on a cripple. You'll hear from my lawyer!
Sheila
You deserve a big reward.
Unidentified speaker
Oh!
Dana Scully
Mulder, the fog has lifted, and if you're ready, the plane is waiting.
Fox Mulder
Scully, do you know anything about, um, weather radar?
Dana Scully
A bit. Why?
Fox Mulder
What does red mean?
Dana Scully
Thunderstorms, I think.
Fox Mulder
Looks like we're not going to be able to catch our plane.
♪♪ [ disco ]
Scene 15
KRONER HIGH SCHOOL
Music
♪ so I'd like to know where you got the notion ♪ ♪ said, I'd like to know where you got the notion ♪ ♪ rock the boat ♪ ♪ don't rock the boat, baby ♪ ♪ rock the boat ♪ ♪ don't tip the boat over ♪ ♪ rock the boat ♪ ♪ don't rock the boat, baby ♪ ♪ rock the boat ♪
♪♪ [ continues, indistinct ]
[ thunder crashing ]
Dana Scully
Seven inches in the past six hours. The national weather service has issued a flash flood warning for the county. Mulder, are you sure he's here?
Fox Mulder
If she's here, he'll be here.
Music
♪ so I'd like to know where you got the notion ♪ ♪ said, I'd like to know where you got the notion ♪ ♪ so I'd like to know where you got the notion ♪ ♪ said, I'd like to know where you got the notion ♪
Fox Mulder
Come on, Holman. Now make it stop.
Holman
This is your fault, not mine.
Fox Mulder
My fault?
Holman
You were kissing her.
Sheila
Oh, look who's here. Some of my favorite people. Old friends, and new ones.
Holman
You look very lovely tonight, Sheila.
Sheila
Thank you. You look handsome. Both of you. ♪♪ [ song intro ] oh, I love this song. Agent Mulder, care to dance?
Dana Scully
Holman was just telling us that, uh, that he wanted to dance.
Fox Mulder
Yes, he was.
Holman
I would be honored.
Sheila
Okay.
Fox Mulder
Tell her, Holman.
Music
♪ you lay your bets and then you pay the price ♪
Sheila
What was that agent Mulder said? Tell me what?
Holman
Oh, no big deal.
Sheila
We tell each other everything, don't we?
♪♪ [ continues, indistinct ]
Holman
Well, um, when I stopped by your office this afternoon-- when I said that--
Sheila
When you said you loved me.
Holman
What I meant to say-- what I wanted you to understand... Is that I'm in love with you. That I've loved you since high school.
Music
♪ ooh, you made me love you ♪ ♪ ooh, you've got a way ♪
[ thunder crashing ]
Fox Mulder
I'll build the ark. You gather the animals. I was kidding.
Dana Scully
Sheila, my partner has a theory, and even though I don't share his belief, I feel that, given the circumstances, you should hear his theory, because it involves you and Holman. Agent Mulder believes that the drought, this storm, these bizarre set of weather conditions... That have plagued you over the years are-- are caused by Holman. Specifically, that-- that his emotions... Are somehow manifesting themselves in the weather, and agent Mulder believes that-that Holman is... Unwittingly destroying this town... Because of his unspoken love for you.
Sheila
You love him, don't you?
Dana Scully
What?
Sheila
You're jealous because agent Mulder and I have a special connection, and you're trying to divert me to Holman.
Dana Scully
What?
Daryl
It is good to be the king!
[ chuckles ]
Daryl
It is good to be the king! Where's Sheila?
Fox Mulder
Where's your leg?
Daryl
Cindy took it. Said I'd have to crawl back to her. Now, where's Sheila?
Sheila
Not even a kiss? Trust me, the man knows how to kiss.
[ sighs ]
Sheila
I just never thought of Holman that way, you know? He's my closest friend. And to not even suspect--
Dana Scully
Well, it seems to me that the best relationships-- the ones that last-- are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person... And you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... Suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.
[ splashing ]
Dana Scully
The storm drains are filling up. Let's get outta here.
Daryl
I'll teach you to mess with my woman! My god, Daryl! If I had two legs I'd kick your--
Dana Scully
I called the police.
Fox Mulder
You might want to take a look at the king, make sure he's all right. Whatever happened to Sheila?
Sheila
Is it true? That you make the weather? 'cause of me? The tornado in high school? Snow at my wedding?
Holman
I'm so sorry.
Sheila
Daryl's rain?
Holman
Can't explain the logic of it. Yes. Some strange manifestation of guilt.
Sheila
Even this rain? Because you love me?
Holman
Because I love you.
Sheila
That is the most romantic thing I've ever heard.
[ crowd murmuring ]
[ cheering ]
Music
♪ somewhere over the rainbow ♪ ♪ way up high ♪
Daryl
I'm sorry, baby.
Cindy
Me too. I brought you a leg.
Daryl
Oh!
Music
♪ once in a lullaby ♪
Daryl
Why you so good to me, honey? ♪
Music
Somewhere ♪ mmm! ♪ over the rainbow ♪ ♪ skies are blue ♪ ♪ and the dreams that you dare to dream ♪ ♪ really do come true ♪
Fox Mulder
I didn't know reunions could be so--
Dana Scully
Wet?
Fox Mulder
Well, how'd it go?
Holman
You should try it sometime.
Music
♪ away above the chimney tops ♪ Sheila? ♪ that's where you'll find me ♪
Scene 16
EPILOGUE
Holman
I can't imagine a more beautiful day than today. We have about a 30% chance of showers tomorrow, which should make all of our farming friends real happy.
[ Holman continues, indistinct ]
Music
♪ bluebirds fly ♪ ♪ birds fly over the rainbow ♪
Sheila
You're a chip off the old block. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. Oh!
Music
♪ why, oh, why can't I ♪♪
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About this transcript
The dialogue comes from the official DVD subtitle track supplied by Boggsfiles. Speaker and scene attribution was cross-checked against character-labelled reference material. Subtitle wording is preserved while capitalization and spacing are standardized for easier reading.