Female Computer Voice
Welcome to the falls. Please enter your code now. Welcome to the falls. Please enter your code now. Welcome to the-- welcome home, mr. Kline.
Season 6 · Episode 15
Arcadia
Character-labelled dialogue prepared from the official DVD subtitle track.
Production code6ABX13Original airdate · March 7, 1999
279 dialogue entries
Scene 01
SAN DIEGO COUNTY, CALIFORNIA
Win Schroeder
Oops. Did you get some on you, dave? Didn't want you to get fined. Just trying to be neighborly. Gotta be up to code.
Dave Kline
Shroeder's out there painting our mailbox! You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna paint the whole damn house pink. Forget about the mailbox, huh? I'm gonna make this whole damn place look like you won it selling cosmetics. How 'bout that? That'll show these nazis.
Nancy Kline
Honey, would you just calm down? Rules are rules.
Dave Kline
They're repainting our mailbox because it's desert sienna instead of desert sage. This guy is a freakin' weirdo.
Nancy Kline
Hon, what's that package?
Dave Kline
I don't know. It doesn't say who sent it.
Nancy Kline
Whoa.
Dave Kline
Tasteful.
Nancy Kline
Boy, the neighbors would really hate that.
[ tapping ]
[ tapping stops ]
Unidentified speaker
Honey, what is it?
[ floorboards creaking ]
Dave Kline
Stay here.
[ screaming ]
Nancy Kline
Dave? Honey?
[ loud banging ]
[ woman screaming ]
Scene 02
SEVEN MONTHS LATER
Fox Mulder
Wow. Take a look at this. Honey, what do you think? Is this place us or what?
Pat Verlander
You must be the petries. Hi. Welcome. Welcome to the falls.
Fox Mulder
I'm rob, and this is my lovely wife Laura.
Pat Verlander
Rob and Laura petrie.
Dana Scully
We pronounce it "pee-trie," actually.
Pat Verlander
Oh.
Fox Mulder
Like the dish.
Pat Verlander
Well, it's so nice to meet you. I'm Pat Verlander. I live six doors down. I'm the neighborhood welcome wagon.
Dana Scully
We're pleased to make your acquaintance, Pat.
Pat Verlander
I really must say. It's ten after 5:00. I don't think you're gonna make it.
Dana Scully
I'm sorry?
Pat Verlander
The 6:00 cutoff? All move-ins are required to be completed by 6:00 p.m. It's in the c.c.& r.s. It's one of our rules.
Fox Mulder
Wow. The photos did not do it justice.
Pat Verlander
Guys, fast, fast. Come on. Quick.
Fox Mulder
The previous owners left it so clean.
Pat Verlander
What do you do for a living, mr. Petrie? That's right, isn't it?
Fox Mulder
Yeah. I, uh-- I work mostly at home, which is great for Laura because she gets me all to herself.
Pat Verlander
Oh.
Dana Scully
This place really is immaculate, Pat. I wouldn't mind sending a thank-you note to the previous owners.
Pat Verlander
That's sweet. Um-- good.
Man
Okay, move it, people. Come on.
Win Schroeder
Rob and Laura petrie. Yes.
Dana Scully
"pee-trie."
Win Schroeder
Win shroeder, next-door neighbor. Welcome.
Fox Mulder
Hi, Win. Nice to meet you.
Win Schroeder
Don't you folks worry. We'll have you moved in before 6:00. Time?
Gordy
5:19
Win Schroeder
Pardon me, neighbor.
Fox Mulder
Excuse us. Thanks. Oh, thank you. Thanks. Thank you.
Dana Scully
Excuse me! I'll get that.
Mike Raskub
No, don't be silly. It's heavy. I got it. Oh, no. I'm-- I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry.
Cami Schroeder
Mike. Mike, Mike, Mike, it's okay. It's okay, Mike. Go help gordy.
Mike Raskub
Send me any bills. I'm-- I'm sorry.
Cami Schroeder
I'm Cami shroeder, by the way. Win's wife.
Dana Scully
Nice to meet you. I'm Laura.
Mover
Where does this go?
Fox Mulder
You can just put that right here in the driveway.
Win Schroeder
Whoa. Hold on. Hold on. Let's talk. A b-ball fan? Shooting hoops-- that's-- that's not good. That's definitely gonna stand out in your front yard over there.
Fox Mulder
Stand out, Win?
Win Schroeder
Well, as in, uh, not be aesthetically pleasing... To the eye. But, hey, maybe you can get special dispensation from mr. Gogolak, president of our home owner's association. I'd take it up with him. But in the meantime, let's keep that in the garage.
Fox Mulder
Put it in the garage.
Win Schroeder
Okay. Let's finish getting you folks moved in. Let's go, people! Let's move, move!
[ engine starting ]
Man
Bye.
Fox Mulder
Oh, yeah. Nothing weird going on around here. Hey. Wait a minute. You didn't let me carry you over the threshold.
Dana Scully
You ready?
Fox Mulder
Let's get it on, honey.
Dana Scully
All right, then.
[ sighs ] [ object rattling ]
Dana Scully
Thanks to our friendly neighbors, there will be no flourescein bloodstain enhancement.
Fox Mulder
Not that it makes much difference. This place is so clean you can build computer chips.
Dana Scully
Okay. 6:01 p.m., february 24. Agents Scully and Mulder... In the former home of david and nancy kline... Who disappeared without a trace last July. The klines were the third such couple to disappear... Since this neighborhood was built in 1991. All were apparently stable professional people... With no history of violence, domestic discord or mental illness. And it took a family member or employee... To realize that they were gone... Including their cars and a few personal items. What local police found in each case was nothing-- just impeccably-manicured homes... And a community of neighbors who professed total ignorance that anyone had disappeared.
Fox Mulder
That's pretty surprising considering how nutty this bunch is about being neighborly.
Dana Scully
The local police department were at a dead end, so they turned to the FBI a.d. Skinner in assigning us this case... Thought a fruitful approach to the investigation would be... If we went undercover posing as prospective home buyers... As this planned community would seem to hide... A dark, possibly murderous conspiracy of silence.
Fox Mulder
You want to make that honeymoon video now?
Dana Scully
Rob and Laura petrie?
Fox Mulder
"pee-trie."
Dana Scully
Mulder, if we ever go undercover again, I get to choose the names, okay?
Fox Mulder
Fine.
Dana Scully
This tells me that you're not taking this seriously.
Fox Mulder
I'm taking it seriously. I just don't understand why we're on it. It's our first catch back on the X-Files. This isn't an X-File.
Dana Scully
Sure it is. It's unexplained. What do you want, aliens? Tractor beams?
Fox Mulder
Wow. Admit it. You just want to play "house."
[ doorbell chimes ]
Fox Mulder
Woman, get back in here and make me a sandwich!
[ removes gloves ]
Fox Mulder
Did I not make myself clear?
[ doorbell chimes ]
Dana Scully
Hi. Well, you didn't need to do that.
Mike Raskub
Oh, please. I have more dishes than I need. I just usually use one and then... Wash it. Uh-- I'm, uh, Mike Raskub, by the way.
Dana Scully
Hi.
Mike Raskub
Big Mike, for obvious reasons. I live the next street over.
Dana Scully
Oh. That's a caduceus. Are you a doctor, Mike?
Mike Raskub
No. A vet. Veterinarian. If you folks are thinking about getting a dog, or any pet, I'd be happy to check it out for you, no charge. Just, uh, you're not allowed to have over 16 pounds of pet. That's one of the c.c.& r.s.
Dana Scully
Mighty nice of you, Mike. Gosh. With all this hospitality, I can't believe the klines ever left. That, uh-- that was their name, wasn't it? The, uh, klines?
Mike Raskub
I have to go.
Dana Scully
Mulder.
Fox Mulder
The name is rob.
Dana Scully
What you got there?
Fox Mulder
Looks like whoever cleaned this place maybe missed a spot. That look like blood to you?
Dana Scully
Mm-hmm. How'd it get way up there?
Scene 03
GOGOLAK RESIDENCE
Pat Verlander
I, uh, didn't really learn much about them. He just said he works at home, which tells me she's got money.
Cami Schroeder
Seemed nice. Cute couple.
Mike Raskub
Mmm, very cute. Uh, they're a nice couple.
Win Schroeder
What do you think, Gene?
Gene Gogolak
Ladies, my compliments to the chef.
Pat Verlander
Cami? Sissy?
Gene Gogolak
These petries, are they gonna play ball?
Win Schroeder
"pee-tries." uh, so far, so good. I'm keeping my eye on 'em.
Mike Raskub
Um, mr. Gogolak. Don't you think that, uh, maybe this time it would be better... If we told them?
Win Schroeder
Mike, you and I have been through this before. We don't know yet if we can trust them.
Mike Raskub
It's just that... There are so many-- so many rules. I think that maybe they would be able to keep up with them better... If they knew what happened if they don't. It's the neighborly thing to do. I really think we should do this.
Gene Gogolak
Son, godspeed.
Mike Raskub
Thank you. Um, can I, uh, use your--
Gene Gogolak
Second door to the left. There's glade under the sink. Gordy, how about you go make sure he finds it.
Win Schroeder
Gene, I can talk him out of this.
Gene Gogolak
Win. The boy's a weak link, and a strong chain can't survive with a weak link.
Scene 04
Scene 04
Documentary Narrator
...is instinctive and necessary for survival. Failure to conform within the tribal structure can often prove lethal. When group elders suspect such an outcast within their midst, tribal members gather in a circle... To perform a ritual chant in the belief... That this will expose the unwitting conduit of evil. The chanters eventually settle on the so-called misfit--
Mike Raskub
Oh, no.
[ groans, panting ]
[ grunts ]
Mike Raskub
Come on. Yes.
[ groans ]
Mike Raskub
No. No, I fixed it! I fixed it!
[ screaming ]
Scene 05
Scene 05
Fox Mulder
Morning.
Win Schroeder
Oh! Oh, rob, Laura. I'm so sorry. So, good morning. So, how was your first night? Peaceful?
Fox Mulder
It was wonderful. We just spooned up and fell asleep like little baby cats. Isn't that right, honey bunch?
Dana Scully
That's right, poopy head. Win, are we in the right place? I thought this was big Mike's house.
Win Schroeder
Yeah, yeah. I'm just, uh-- I'm just helping out. Mike had to leave town on business.
Dana Scully
What kind of business? I thought he was a veterinarian.
Win Schroeder
Veterinarian business, I guess. I just know he's gone weeks at a time.
Fox Mulder
I'll just leave this here then.
Win Schroeder
Let me take those. Just... Tidier-looking than leaving them on the front porch.
Fox Mulder
It'd be more aesthetically pleasing, huh?
Win Schroeder
Exactly. Say, would you two like to join... Cami and me for dinner this evening, about 6:00? We eat early.
Dana Scully
That sounds great. Thanks.
Win Schroeder
Great.
Fox Mulder
Oh, Win, you mentioned, uh, that I could talk to someone about putting up my basketball hoop? Who was that again? Mr. Gogolak, was it?
Scene 06
Scene 06
Gene Gogolak
All right, then, let's see. Basketball hoop and backboard. Portable. Nope, I'm sorry. It's not allowed.
Fox Mulder
You're kidding?
Gene Gogolak
I'm afraid not. Rules are rules. It may not sound like anything-- a simple basketball hoop-- but from there it's just a few short steps to spinning daisy reflectors... And a bass boat in the driveway.
Fox Mulder
In other words, anarchy.
Gene Gogolak
It may sound tough, but ours is a system that works. That's why the falls is... One of the top-ranked planned communities in all of California. Most of our homeowners have been here since day one.
Fox Mulder
I love the decor here, mr. Gogolak. Is it, um, occidental?
Gene Gogolak
Well, it's, uh, nepalese and tibetan mostly. I go there twice a year on business.
Fox Mulder
Oh.
Gene Gogolak
I run pier 9 imports. I can get you a great deal on rattan furniture if you're interested. Indoor only. Outdoor use is prohibited by our c.c.& r.s.
Scene 07
SCROEDER RESIDENCE
Win Schroeder
Uh-uh, scruffy. Go on, now. Sweetheart, did you use the dolphin-safe tuna this time?
Cami Schroeder
Dolphin-safe all the way, honey.
Win Schroeder
We always use dolphin-safe.
Fox Mulder
You've got to love those dolphins, although they're pretty tasty too.
[ laughs ]
Win Schroeder
So, where'd you two meet?
Fox Mulder
Actually, it was at a UFO conference.
Win Schroeder
Flying saucers? Interesting. Wouldn't have thought you folks would have been into that.
Fox Mulder
Well, it's not me so much as Laura. She's quite the new-ager. I mean, she's into those magnetic bracelets and crystals and mood rings, what have you. I mean, god bless her. She's a sucker for all that stuff.
Cami Schroeder
Well, I wouldn't have guessed that, would you?
Win Schroeder
Mm-mm.
Dana Scully
No kidding.
Fox Mulder
Yeah. You know, Win, when you, uh-- when you told me this morning... That big Mike was out of town on business, I don't think that's true.
Win Schroeder
You don't?
Fox Mulder
No, 'cause we called his office. Didn't we, honey?
Dana Scully
We did.
Fox Mulder
Yeah.
[ clears throat ]
Fox Mulder
We're thinking about getting a dog, so we wanted to ask him his advice... And see if his office had a forwarding number and they said--
Dana Scully
That he wasn't there. They didn't know where he was.
Fox Mulder
Yeah.
Dana Scully
Do you know where he is, Win?
Win Schroeder
I really couldn't tell you.
Fox Mulder
It's gotta be something really freaky-deaky. I mean, for him to lie about it like that? Maybe he's got some wild secret life going on.
[ laughing ]
Fox Mulder
But every community has its dark underbelly, don't you think?
Win Schroeder
We don't have any underbelly. As far as I'm concerned, this community is the American dream.
Cami Schroeder
Um-- I'm sorry. I, um, realized that it's past time that I walk scruffy.
Dana Scully
Would you like some company?
Cami Schroeder
Yeah.
Dana Scully
So, is this the American dream? This place?
Cami Schroeder
Oh. Uh-- nice neighborhood, you know. Just a lot of people who want the best for their families.
Dana Scully
So it's just not your dream. You know, Cami, I've noticed... That you've walked us past Mike's house... Twice. Are you worried about him?
Cami Schroeder
No. I don't really know what you mean. Scruffy! Scruffy, come here! Scruffy, no! Scruffy! Scruffy, come out here! Scruffy. Scruffy, come out of there.
[ barking continues ]
Dana Scully
Let me take a look.
Cami Schroeder
Do you see him?
Dana Scully
Uh-uh.
[ yelping ]
Cami Schroeder
Scruffy, it's okay. It's okay. I got you. I got you.
Dana Scully
What's he got there? Deep breath.
Cami Schroeder
That's a close one, huh? Yeah?
Dana Scully
That's a good boy. Let me wipe that off. That's a good boy.
Cami Schroeder
Okay, let's get you home. Come on.
Scene 08
Scene 08
Dana Scully
All right, lieutenant.
Fox Mulder
Caduceus.
Dana Scully
Thank you. Local p.d. Came up blank on... Mike Raskub. No activity on his credit cards. No sighting of his '97 mercury villager.
Fox Mulder
There's no sign of him in his house. I didn't see him in the storm drain either. I take it he's dead, Scully.
Dana Scully
Laura. Think it's Win shroeder?
Fox Mulder
Maybe Win cleaning up.
Dana Scully
Cleaning up for who?
Fox Mulder
I don't know.
Dana Scully
Mulder, speaking of cleaning up, whoever taught you how to squeeze a tube of toothpaste?
Fox Mulder
What do we know about this stuff?
Dana Scully
I'm driving down to san diego tomorrow to have it analyzed.
Fox Mulder
All right.
Dana Scully
Third warning. Toilet seat.
Fox Mulder
Why kill big Mike?
[ gasps ]
Dana Scully
What's missing here is intent. What would be the motive?
Fox Mulder
Compulsive neatness, or a lack thereof. Have you noticed how everybody around here... Is obsessed with the neighborhood rules and c.c.& r.s.? You know, you fit in really well here.
Dana Scully
And you don't.
Fox Mulder
Anyway, tomorrow I got a surefire way of testing out my theory. Come on, Laura. You know. We're married now.
Dana Scully
Scully, Mulder. Good night.
Fox Mulder
The thrill is gone.
Scene 09
Scene 09
Fox Mulder
Bring it on.
[ toilet flushes ]
[ basketball bouncing ]
Win Schroeder
Stay here.
Cami Schroeder
Stop him, Win.
Win Schroeder
Stay here!
Cami Schroeder
Stop him!
Fox Mulder
Hey, Win, wanna play "horse"?
Win Schroeder
What the hell are you doing?
Fox Mulder
What am I doing? What are you doing?
Win Schroeder
Damn it! Get off of it! Help me get this inside.
Fox Mulder
What's gonna happen if we don't?
Win Schroeder
Fine. That's the way you want it?
Fox Mulder
It's just a basketball hoop, Win. I don't understand why you're getting all bent out of shape.
Win Schroeder
You were warned.
Fox Mulder
Warned about what?
Cami Schroeder
[ Cami screaming ] no! No! No! No!
Fox Mulder
Stop! Cami, you all right?
[ floorboards creaking ]
Scene 10
Scene 10
Dana Scully
Mulder? Mulder, is that you?
[ banging ]
[ gasps ]
Fox Mulder
Whoa!
Dana Scully
Sorry, Mulder. Somebody was in the house.
Fox Mulder
Tidying up. Whoever it was, they put away my basketball hoop. Somebody's looking out after us, Scully, which may not be a bad thing.
Dana Scully
What do you mean?
Fox Mulder
I got a look at that thing that's been scaring everybody. I take it back. This is an X-File.
Gene Gogolak
How's Cami?
Win Schroeder
What did we do wrong, Gene? Was our welcome mat not to your liking? Did I coil my garden hose clockwise instead of counterclockwise?
Gene Gogolak
Hold the phone now. Are you saying that I had something to do with this?
Win Schroeder
Who else? The exact same thing-- the thing you had me do to Mike. Who else would do that?
Gene Gogolak
Son, you'll wanna take a deep breath... And rethink that theory. It's your next-door neighbor, Win. He's a rabble-rouser. He's trouble with a capital "t." and you and I both know it only takes one rotten apple... To spoil the whole bunch.
Fox Mulder
Here we go. Yeah. I'm guessing there's one of these in every yard. I think this is how this thing travels-- where it lives.
Dana Scully
In the ground? This huge creature you think you saw?
[ sighs ]
Dana Scully
Look, Mulder, huge creatures aside, do you care to hear what I think?
Fox Mulder
Always.
Dana Scully
These are the lab results from the san diego p.d. First of all, the stuff that we found on the fan blade-- dried blood and scalp hairs? It's neither. The blood is predominantly ketchup and brake fluid... [ scoffs ] and the hairs are bristles from a scrub brush. And the same goes for the sample we found on the dog's muzzle. It's coffee grounds, eggshells and motor oil... With about 50 other constituents with a little mercurochrome for color. In other words, Mulder, it's garbage, which makes perfect sense... Because this entire neighborhood has been built upon an old landfill.
Fox Mulder
A landfill?
Dana Scully
Mm-hmm. We found this stuff everywhere because it is everywhere. It's just beneath the topsoil. And that protrusion in the front yard may occur from the venting of methane gas. But, Mulder, I don't see how any of this has to do... With the disappearances that we're investigating.
Fox Mulder
It does. Somehow, it's one and the same. The klines?
Dana Scully
Yeah?
Fox Mulder
What if they're still here?
Dana Scully
You mean buried in the yard? Well, once we start a forensic excavation, our cover's blown.
[ engine rumbling ]
[ gasps ]
Scene 11
Scene 11
Pat Verlander
What in god's name are you doing? God--
Fox Mulder
Putting in a pool.
Pat Verlander
In the front yard? What, are you insane? Have you even looked at the c.c.& r.s? You can't just put in a swimming pool!
Fox Mulder
It's not a swimming pool. It's a reflecting pool. I checked the rules. There's no rule against putting in a reflecting pool. It's very tranquil. You'd like it.
Gene Gogolak
Let him dig his own grave.
Dana Scully
Hey. Mulder.
[ groans ]
Dana Scully
The klines aren't down there. I think it's time you called it a night.
Fox Mulder
Tasteful, isn't it? Gogolak. Hey, can you get an excavation team out here?
Dana Scully
Yeah.
Fox Mulder
We need to dig deeper.
Dana Scully
Where are you going?
Fox Mulder
To price some rattan furniture.
[ sighs ]
[ line ringing ]
Scene 12
Scene 12
Dana Scully
Yes, this is special agent Dana Scully. I need a full forensic team to 450 autumn terrace. No, not tomorrow. Tonight.
[ banging ]
Dana Scully
I'm sorry. Can I call you back? Jesus.
[ footsteps banging ]
Dana Scully
Oh, god.
Mike Raskub
[ muffled scream ] it's come for you, Laura. You can't make a noise. [ gasps ] shh. Shh.
Dana Scully
Mike. What happened to you?
Mike Raskub
You have to get out of here.
Dana Scully
Why? What are you talking about? Who's downstairs?
Mike Raskub
Shh. Shh. Shh.
Dana Scully
Mike. Who did this to you?
Mike Raskub
The ubermenscher. It's our fault. The original homeowners. We asked for it and now we can't stop it.
Dana Scully
Stop what, Mike?
Mike Raskub
I tried to give it shroeder. You know, tit for tat. Just like shroeder did for me.
Dana Scully
Mike, listen. Settle down. Okay? Just give me my gun. I'm a federal agent.
Mike Raskub
The ubermenscher wants you, Laura. Your husband-- he's broken way too many rules. I've been hiding in the sewer. I tried to warn him.
[ banging on door ]
Dana Scully
Mike, just give me the gun.
[ gunshots ]
Mike Raskub
[ Mike screams ] no!
Gene Gogolak
FBI? What did I do?
Fox Mulder
Let's start with the klines. You're responsible for them being in little pieces in my front yard. You gave them that lawn ornament-- guy with the axe?
Gene Gogolak
Whirligig.
Fox Mulder
Yeah, whirligig. It's tacky enough to break your rules and c.c.& r.s. Tacky enough to mark the klines for death.
Gene Gogolak
And won't that sound good in a court of law? When the judge asks you who killed the klines, what exactly are you gonna tell him?
Fox Mulder
A tulpa. It's a tibetan thought-form. It's a living creature willed into existence by someone who possesses that ability-- an ability I think you picked up on your whirligig-buying excursions to the far east. Why'd you do it? I mean, is it so damn important... For everybody to have the same color mailbox?
Gene Gogolak
It's important that people fit in.
Fox Mulder
But you didn't know exactly what you were getting into, did you? I mean, you can summon its existence, but-- you can give it life, but you can't control it. The best you can hope for is to stay out of its way.
Gene Gogolak
Son, my lawyers are gonna make you sound so stupid... That not only will I never see the inside of a jail cell, but you'll be signing all your paychecks straight to me.
Win Schroeder
Gene?
Gene Gogolak
Win. You've got two FBI agents living next door to you. Cheer up. It's not for long.
Fox Mulder
Scully? Scully? Scully?
Dana Scully
Mulder?
Fox Mulder
Scully?
Dana Scully
Mulder?
Fox Mulder
Scully, hang on.
Gene Gogolak
Come here. Help me with this. Win, come here.
[ footsteps ]
Gene Gogolak
Win!
Cami Schroeder
Win, wait a minute. No. No. He deserves what he gets.
Dana Scully
Mulder, it was here.
[ screaming ]
Dana Scully
Mulder.
[ screaming continues ]
Scene 13
Scene 13
Dana Scully
Several residents of the falls... Have now come forward to blame the deaths in the neighborhood... On home owner association president Gene Gogolak. These same residents deny agent Mulder's allegations... That they were in some sense all responsible for the demise of Gogolak himself, claiming ignorance as to what actually killed him. It would seem the code of silence that hid the sins of this community... Has not only survived, but in its creator, claimed a final victim. Meanwhile, the falls at arcadia has been named... One of the top planned communities in California for the sixth year running.
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About this transcript
The dialogue comes from the official DVD subtitle track supplied by Boggsfiles. Speaker and scene attribution was cross-checked against character-labelled reference material. Subtitle wording is preserved while capitalization and spacing are standardized for easier reading.