Dana Scully
Not everything is a labyrinth of conspiracies. Look, you're shaking.
Season 4 · Episode 7
Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man
Character-labelled dialogue prepared from the official DVD subtitle track.
Production code4X07Original airdate · November 17, 1996
227 dialogue entries
Scene 01
WASHINGTON, D.C.
[ footsteps ]
[ squeaking ]
[ fizzling sound ]
[ siren blaring in distance ]
[ lighter clicks shut ]
[ electronic humming ]
Fox Mulder
One at a time, boys. Now what's going on?
[ man #1 ]
Richard Langly
Frohike's close.
Melvin Frohike
Don't use my name! What's wrong with you? Now I'll have to kill you.
[ man #1 ]
John Fitzgerald Byers
Langley and I performed three sweeps with the cpm-700.
Melvin Frohike
The cpm-700 is a piece of crap!
[ man #1 ]
John Fitzgerald Byers
The acoustic correlator is reading only passive sounds.
Fox Mulder
I've been here 20 minutes, and I still don't know what the hell is wrong! No one would kill you, Frohike. You're just a little puppy dog.
Melvin Frohike
I don't utter another syllable... Until the csm-25 countermeasure filter is activated.
[ electronic static, garbled voices ]
[ static increases, stops ]
[ man #1 ]
John Fitzgerald Byers
No electronic surveillance known can cut through the csm-25.
Dana Scully
Okay, okay. Now tell us what you're so close to.
Melvin Frohike
Not a what, a who. If you find the right starting point and follow it, not even secrets of the darkest of men are safe.
Fox Mulder
Cancer man? What did you find?
Melvin Frohike
Possibly everything. Maybe his background, who he is, and who he wants to be. August 20th, 1940, mexico city. A stalinist agent assassinated leon trotsky with an ice pick. At that same moment, a thousand Miles north, in baton rouge, louisiana, "he" appears. The father was an Ardent communist activist. During the nazi-soviet pact, he kept the nkvd informed... On american plans to enter world war ii. He was executed under the espionage act of 1917, before his boy could walk. The mother, a cigarette smoker, died of lung cancer... Before her son uttered his first word. With no surviving family, he became a ward of the state, sent to various orphanages in the midwest. Didn't make friends. Spent all his time reading-- alone. And then he appears to have vanished, until a year and a half after the bay of pigs.
Scene 02
CENTER FOR SPECIAL WARFARE · FT. BRAGG, NORTH CAROLINA · OCTOBER 30, 1962
Troop Leader
Premier khrushchev, we want you!
[ troops ]
Troops
Premier khrushchev, we want you!
Troop Leader
We're gonna kick your rang-a-dang-doo!
Troops
We're gonna kick your rang-a-dang-doo!
Troop Leader
Fidel castro, we want you!
Troops
Fidel castro, we want you!
Troop Leader
We're gonna kick your rang-a-dang-doo!
Troops
We're gonna kick your rang-a-dang-doo!
Troop Leader
Mother russia--
[ man shouts, indistinct ]
Bill Mulder
Hey, I wanna see that when you're done with it.
[ men chattering ]
Bill Mulder
Why don't you just go see the movie?
Cigarette-Smoking Man
I'd rather read the worst novel ever written... Than sit through the best movie ever made.
Private
Captain, sir! General Francis requests you report to his office asap, sir!
Bill Mulder
My one-year-old just said his first word.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
What was the word?
Bill Mulder
J.f.k.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Catch ya later, Mulder.
[ buzzer ]
Man
He's here, sir.
Francis
Send him in.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
You wish to see me, sir?
Agent Man
Have a seat, captain. Captain, have you ever seen these two men, met the general... Or myself?
Cigarette-Smoking Man
No, sir.
Agent Man
In january, 1961, did you aid congo president kasavuba... In the arrest and assassination of patrice lumumba?
Cigarette-Smoking Man
No, sir.
Agent Man
Were you involved in the training of cuban nationals during operation zapata, also known as the bay of pigs?
Cigarette-Smoking Man
I'm sorry, sir. I'm unaware of any such operation.
Agent Man
On may 31st, 1961, did you aid dominican locals in the assassination of rafael trujillo?
Cigarette-Smoking Man
No, sir.
Agent Man
Your father was a convicted spy for the soviet union. Executed in a louisiana electric chair, was he not?
Cigarette-Smoking Man
My only regret, sir, is I was too young to throw the switch myself.
Francis
At ease, captain. Your father's actions were totally out of your control. Each of us in this room... Understands a life eviscerated by the actions of another. Cigarette?
Cigarette-Smoking Man
No, thank you, sir. I never touch 'em.
Francis
You see, captain, most people seek to control life's events in order to secure a more positive, productive, and free existence. Often, however, the objectives of others conflict with our objectives.
Cuban Man
Viva la libertad.
Francis
Now, most people-- common people, really-- can barely manage to control their own self-centered, myopic existence. They command armies of lawyers armed with paper weapons, attacking with spiteful, vengeful, cowardly litigation. Others... Operate within elephantine bureaucracies. And then, captain, there are extraordinary men. Those who must identify, comprehend, and ultimately shoulder the responsibility... For not only their own existence, but their country's, and the world's as well. Your father, captain, believed his country should look to another form of government, and he took control of that belief. So, in that respect, we view him as an extraordinary man. And we believe-- we know, captain, that it runs in the family. Now, don't misunderstand. Your father should have been executed. Communism is, without a doubt, the most heinous personification of evil mankind has ever confronted. And it is, in part, the reason that you are before us here today.
Agent Man
You must understand, captain, everything I'm about to say is classified "compartmentalized." so intensely that if you accept this assignment... And successfully execute it, you will no longer be an officer of the united states army, nor will any record exist of your service. The assignment... Is the assassination of an american civilian, aged 46, former naval p.t. Boat commander. Married, father of two.
Francis
Last week, captain, this country was brought to the brink of nuclear annihilation. A situation which never would have arisen... Had the individual in question, as commander in chief, provided an umbrella of air support during the invasion at bahia de cochinos.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Is there a cover story?
Mob Man
Tell 'em it was done by men from outer space.
Agent Man
We've found, and are setting up a patsy.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Where?
[ dog barking ]
Scene 03
DALLAS, TEXAS · NOVEMBER 22, 1963 · WESTBROOK DRIVE · IRVING, TEXAS · 6:59 A.M.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
You shouldn't smoke those, lee. I'm reading studies that say they can kill you.
Lee Harvey Oswald
Well, mr. Hunt, sir, uh, I've heard about those reports and... They are no doubt correct.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
You'll have a good view of the president today.
Lee Harvey Oswald
Well, I-I like the president's family. They're interesting people. However, I have my own views on the president's national policy. I'll probably just eat lunch.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
I'm going to the movies at the Texas theater. It's only 90 cents. I love the movies. I brought the curtain rods, lee.
Lee Harvey Oswald
I bought some curtain rods just like this from a mail order back in march.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
You did? Or a.j. Hidell?
Lee Harvey Oswald
Well, mr. Hunt, fidel's defenders have to be careful.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Yes, we do. Speaking of which, lee, I've informed our fellow defender... That you will hide the curtain rods on the sixth floor... Of the book depository, behind the cartons against the back wall.
Lee Harvey Oswald
The cuban visa?
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Once I've been notified the curtain rods have been safely removed from the depository, the visa and the money for your trip will be in your room. Take a bus.
Lee Harvey Oswald
I left all my money with my wife.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
That's all I've got-- 13 and change. You better get going, lee. You wouldn't want to miss your ride to work.
Scene 04
TEXAS SCHOOL BOOK DEPOSITORY · 8:00 AM
[ shuffling sound ]
Supervisor
Oh. Good morning, lee. Starting work right on time.
Lee Harvey Oswald
Yes, sir.
Scene 05
TRINITY RIVER OVERFLOW OUTLET · 11:15 AM
Man #1
The president should be driving past any minute. I think I hear everyone down on the fifth floor. Where's lee? Does he wanna come?
Man #2
Better hurry up.
Scene 06
TRINITY RIVER OVERFLOW OUTLET
[ chattering ]
[ cheering ]
[ man on radio ]
Man #4
The president's car is now turning onto elm street.
[ sighs ]
Scene 08
TRINITY RIVER OVERFLOW OUTLET
Man #4
I was on the stemmons freeway earlier, and even the freeway was jampacked with spectators waiting to see the president. People are really starting to crowd in now.
[ buzzing sound ]
Scene 10
TRINITY RIVER OVERFLOW OUTLET
Man #4
The motorcade is heading down elm street now, passing the Texas school book depository.
[ cheering ]
Scene 14
TRINITY RIVER OVERFLOW OUTLET
[ gunshots ]
[ people screaming ]
Scene 16
TRINITY RIVER OVERFLOW OUTLET
Man #4
I can't quite see from here. It appears something has happened on the motorcade route. [ sirens blaring ] does anyone know what happened? Is there any information?
Scene 17
TEXAS SCHOOL BOOK DEPOSITORY
Supervisor
Upstairs!
Officer
Do you know this man?
Supervisor
Yes, he works for me. Let's go! [ people shouting ]
Scene 19
OSWALD'S BOARDING ROOM · 1:03 PM
[ sirens blaring, people shouting ]
[ man on radio ]
Man #4
The president of the united states is dead. It is official now. President Kennedy is dead.
Lee Harvey Oswald
No! No! No, sir! I won't be a patsy.
Scene 20
TENTH & PATTON · 1:15 PM
[ people chattering ]
[ police radio: indistinct ]
Man On Apb Wire
...should be considered dangerous, and use caution approaching.
Tippitt
Afternoon.
[ radio continues: indistinct ]
Lee Harvey Oswald
I wish to see some form of identification, sir.
Tippitt
Now easy there, partner. I just wanna talk a minute.
Lee Harvey Oswald
If I don't see valid credentials, I'm gonna assume you're with them.
Tippitt
Them? What do you mean, partner?
Scene 21
TEXAS THEATRE · 1:45 PM
[ groans ]
[ gunshots ]
[ police radio: indistinct ]
Man In Movie #1
How about a cigarette?
Man In Movie #2
Thank you.
Man In Movie #3
You know, keiffer knocked out a bunker.
[ soldier #1 ]
Man In Movie #3
All by himself, too.
[ soldier #2 ]
Man In Movie #1
That's more guts than I've got. All I did was pick up the spoils.
[ soldier #1 ]
Man In Movie #3
But he's really gone. After connors and thurston ran, he knocked out the bunker with one grenade. Now that's really somethin', huh?
Man In Movie #1
Yeah.
[ people grumbling ]
[ cop ]
Police Officer #2
We won't be long. On your feet. Come on.
Lee Harvey Oswald
It's gonna be all over.
Police Officer #2
He's got a gun!
[ shouting ]
Police Officer #2
Take him down!
Lee Harvey Oswald
I'm not resisting arrest! I'm not resisting arrest! Stop hitting me, you sons of bitches! I'm not the one! I'm not the one! I'm not the one! This is police brutality! This is police brutality! I'm not resisting arrest!
[ cop ]
Police Officer #1
Put him in the car!
[ Oswald ]
Lee Harvey Oswald
Let me go!
[ cops, Oswald shouting ]
[ siren blaring ]
Scene 23
THE CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN'S APARTMENT
Martin Luther King Jr.
Jr. ] we must, with positive action,
[ typing sound ]
Martin Luther King Jr.
Seek to remove those conditions of poverty, insecurity and injustice... Which are the fertile soil in which the seed of communism grows and develops.
[ typewriter bell dings ]
Martin Luther King Jr.
These are revolutionary times. All over the globe, men are revolting against old systems... Of exploitation and oppression. And out of the wombs of a frail world,
[ mumbles ]
Martin Luther King Jr.
New systems of justice and equality are being born. The shirtless and barefoot people of the land... Are rising up as never before.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
"I can kill you whenever I please."
Martin Luther King Jr.
We in the west have seen a great light. We in the west must support these revolutions.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
"but not today."
[ king ]
Martin Luther King Jr.
It is a sad fact that because of comfort, complacency, a morbid fear of communism and our proneness to adjust to injustice, the western nations that initiated... So much of the revolutionary spirit of the modern world... Have now become the arch-antirevolutionaries. This has driven many to feel that only marxism... Has the revolutionary spirit. Therefore, communism is a judgment... Against our failure to make democracy real... And follow through on the revolutions that we initiated.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
No, no. Why'd you have to do that?
Martin Luther King Jr.
...to recapture the revolution--
Scene 24
AN UNKNOWN LOCATION
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Why didn't you know this was coming, edgar?
[ coughs ]
Aid
Last year the house was not smiling on non eye-to-eye surveillance.
Director
So I stopped.
Aid
We called ramsey clark to receive a go-ahead on tapping king's phone, but he refused.
Major General
Our behind the fence operations on willie... Believes that king's ally, stokeley carmichael, is recruitin' a negro army to wage war on white america.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Wouldn't you, if you were them? If this were only a civil rights issue, I'd vote for a king-benjamin spock presidential ticket. But after last night, it's not.
Director
You actually sound sad about it.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
I respect king. He's an extraordinary man. But now he's talking like a maoist. And if he convinces negroes not to fight in vietnam, we'll lose. And the first domino will have fallen.
Director
We must step up our efforts to discredit him.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Like your ridiculous suicide project? "there is but one way out for you"? That dumb letter attempting to drive king into despair... Only alerted him to the level of our surveillance.
Aid
We could create a film of him with a woman other than his wife. Using existing footage, we could insert him in a film we make of a woman-- a white woman.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
The solution is more intense... Than just dirty tricks.
Aid
If you'll excuse us, gentlemen, the director has a meeting at the white house.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Sit down. You've enough plausible deniability to last the rest of your nine lives.
Major General
A sig force can execute a wet-insert operation. One day, he and his immediate circle are just found dead.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Too many questions. Americans believe the south is still fighting the civil war. We find ourselves a cracker patsy, and the motives become very black and white.
Director
Another patsy.
Aid
Should we advise the president?
Cigarette-Smoking Man
I work very hard to keep any president from knowing I even exist.
Aid
Who will you order to do it?
Cigarette-Smoking Man
I'll do it myself. I have too much respect for the man.
Scene 25
MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE · APRIL 3, 1968 · 9:15 PM
[ king ]
Martin Luther King Jr.
The nation is sick. Trouble is in the land, confusion all around. That's a strange statement. But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough... Can you see the stars. In this period of the twentieth century... In a way... That men, in some strange way, are responding. Something is happening in our world. The masses of people are rising up. And wherever they are assembled today, whether they are in johannesburg, south africa; nairobi, kenya; akka, ghana; New York city; atlanta, Georgia; Jackson, mississippi or memphis, Tennessee, the cry is always the same: we want to be free.
[ people cheering ]
[ footsteps approaching ]
Scene 26
ROOMING HOUSE · 418 S. MAIN · APRIL 4, 1968 · 5:15 PM
James Earl Ray
Raul. I got the binoculars you sent me out for.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Just put 'em down by your clothes.
James Earl Ray
I heard, uh, dr. King's stayin' at the lorraine motel right behind here.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Our gun buyer's coming by to look at the rifle.
James Earl Ray
Well, I gave it to you this mornin'.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
I have it. Look, uh, three's a crowd. Here's a couple of hundred. Go to a movie or something. Come back in two or three hours. Leave the mustang. I'll need it later.
[ king's voice ]
Martin Luther King Jr.
Well, I don't know what will happen now.
Scene 27
DIRECTLY ACROSS FROM LORRAINE MOTEL ROOM 306 · 5:57 PM
Martin Luther King Jr.
We've got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn't matter to me now. Because I've been to the mountaintop.
[ people cheering ]
Martin Luther King Jr.
And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do god's will. And he's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the promised land.
[ cheering ]
Martin Luther King Jr.
I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight... That we, as a people, will get to the promised land!
[ cheering ]
Martin Luther King Jr.
So I'm happy tonight. I'm not worried about anything! I'm not fearing any man! Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the lord!
Scene 28
ROOMING HOUSE · 418 S. MAIN
[ gunshot echoing ]
[ man on TV: indistinct ]
[ TV continues: indistinct ]
Man
...has touched off declarations of states of emergency... In several cities. In Washington, D.C.--
[ TV continues: indistinct ]
Man
New York state senator robert f. Kennedy has made an appeal for calm.
[ Kennedy ]
Robert Kennedy
I would only say that I can also feel, in my own heart, the same kind of feeling. I had a member of my family killed. But he was killed by a white man. My favorite poet was aeschylus. And he once wrote, "even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget...
Cigarette-Smoking Man and Robert Kennedy
[ continues ] "falls drop by drop upon the heart, "until in our own despair, "against our own will comes wisdom...
Cigarette-Smoking Man and Robert Kennedy
Through the awful grace of god." [ man continues ]
Scene 30
WASHINGTON D.C. · DECEMBER 24, 1991
[Continues, indistinct]
[ siren blaring in distance ]
Cigarette-Smoking Man
All right, gentlemen. Let's make this short and sweet so we can all go home for christmas. Domestic unrest operations?
Lydon
Yeah. The anita hill thing has lost steam since october.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Well, let it go. We played it right. Unfounded allegations will be flying around in no time. L.a.?
Matlock
The rodney king trial's been moved to simi valley, just as you instructed.
[ beeping ]
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Call back.
Jones
Internationally, bosnia-herzegovina... Is set for a february vote on independence from yugoslavia.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
America couldn't care less.
Lydon
I'm working on next month's oscar nominations. Any preference?
Cigarette-Smoking Man
I couldn't care less. What I don't want to see is the bills winning the super bowl. As long as I'm alive, that doesn't happen.
Jones
Could be tough, sir. Buffalo wants it bad.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
So did the soviets in '80.
Jones
What, are you saying you rigged the olympic hockey game?
Cigarette-Smoking Man
What's the matter? Don't you believe in miracles?
Lydon
The boss gave the russian goaltender a little pre-game... Good luck pat on the back. Unseen novocaine needle on a bogus wedding ring. Goalie's a little slow on the stick side. Four-three, home team.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Payback's a bitch, ivan. Well, gentlemen, if that'll be all--
Matlock
One thing internally, sir. That "spooky" kid who talked his way into opening the X-Files, he feels like trouble.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
He's mine to keep an eye on.
[ beeping ]
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Gorbachev has just resigned.
Matlock
There's no more enemies.
[ opens briefcase ]
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Merry christmas. Merry christmas.
Jones
If you don't have any plans, sir, we're all getting together with our families out in virginia. You're more than welcome to--
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Oh. Well.
Scene 31
THE CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN'S APARTMENT
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Uh-- I have to, uh, see some, uh... Family.
[ keyboard clicking ]
[ andy williams ]
Music (radio)
♪ it's the most wonderful time of the year ♪ ♪ with the kids jingle-belling ♪ ♪ and everyone telling you be of good cheer ♪ ♪ it's the most wonderful time of the year ♪ ♪ it's the hap-happiest season of all ♪ ♪ with those holiday greetings and gay, happy feelings ♪ ♪ when friends come to call ♪ ♪ it's the hap-happiest season of all ♪
[ song continues ]
[ bell dings ]
[ song continues ]
[ bell dings ]
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Yeah?
Deep Throat
You'll never believe what we just got for christmas.
Scene 32
DOGWAY, WEST VIRGINIA · DECEMBER 24, 1991 · 10:21 PM
[ shouting ]
Deep Throat
The craft matches the dimensions of the vehicle spotted over hanoi... When I was in vietnam with the company, that the marines couldn't shoot down.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Occupant?
Deep Throat
Critical.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Timing couldn't be worse. The Roswell story we concocted was gathering momentum. Had them all looking in the wrong direction. With luck we'll get away with it.
Deep Throat
No luck tonight. Our aurora spy planes confirm the russians tracked entry... And have pinpointed touchdown.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Haven't you heard? There are no russians anymore.
Deep Throat
I don't care if they're in the midst of ruin. The kgb is not going to ignore an event of this magnitude-- nor the chinese, nor the germans, nor the british, nor anyone... Who has the capability of discovering what happened here tonight. I'm certain each of them... Has operatives advancing on us right now.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
How many historic events have only the two of us witnessed together, ronald? How often did we make or change history? And our names can never... Grace any pages of record. No monument will ever bear our image. And yet, once again tonight, the course of human history will be set by two unknown men, standing in the shadows. A living e.b.e. Could advance bill Mulder's project by decades.
Deep Throat
Security council resolution 1013... States any country capturing such an entity... Is responsible for its immediate extermination. I'm the liar. You're the killer.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Your lies have killed more men in a day than I have in a lifetime. I've never killed anybody.
Deep Throat
Maybe I'm not the liar.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
I have a chance to go an entire lifetime... Without killing anybody or any thing.
Deep Throat
With all of our work in the past 30 years, all of our victories, if the world were to see this, it would destroy all we've gained in a few hours. Tonight, we have a new... Enemy.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Heads. Go ahead. Make history.
[ beeping sound ]
Scene 33
WASHINGTON, D.C.
[ beeping continues ]
[ gunshot ]
[ monotone electronic hum ]
[ indistinct voice ]
Melvin Frohike
At that point, your work in the basement was getting attention from the top floor. And that's why you were brought in.
Scene 34
WASHINGTON, D.C. · MARCH 6, 1992
[ man #1 ]
Scott Blevins
Agent Scully, thank you for coming on such short notice.
Senior Agent
Are you familiar with an agent named Fox Mulder?
Dana Scully
Yes, I am.
Senior Agent
How so?
Dana Scully
By reputation. Um, he's an Oxford-educated psychologist... Who wrote a monograph on serial killers and the occult... That helped to catch Monty Propps in 1988. Generally thought of as the best analyst in the violent crimes section. He had a nickname at the academy-- "spooky" Mulder.
Scott Blevins
What I'll also tell you is that agent Mulder... Has developed a consuming devotion... To an unassigned project outside the bureau mainstream. Are you familiar with the so-called X-Files?
[ knocking ]
Fox Mulder
Sorry. Nobody down here but the FBI's most unwanted.
Dana Scully
Agent Mulder. I'm Dana Scully. I've been assigned to work with you.
Fox Mulder
Oh, isn't it nice to be suddenly so highly regarded? So who did you tick off to get stuck with this detail, Scully?
Dana Scully
Actually, I'm looking forward to working with you. I've heard a lot about you.
Fox Mulder
Oh, really? I was under the impression that you were sent to spy on me.
Scene 35
WASHINGTON, D.C.
Melvin Frohike
Henry david thoreau wrote, "the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." his life has been anything but quiet. Yet, I believe, nothing but desperate. He's the most dangerous man alive. Not so much because he believes in his actions, but because he believes these actions are all which life allows him. And yet, the only person that can never escape him... Is himself.
Scene 36
THE CIGARETTE SMOKING MAN'S APARTMENT
[ dial tone ]
[ phone ringing ]
Woman
Pivotal publishing.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Um, uh, walden roth, please.
Woman
One moment.
Walden Roth
Walden roth.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Oh, mr. Roth, hello. Uh, this is raul bloodworth, author of second chance: a jack colquitt adventure.
Walden Roth
Yes, of course, mr. Bloodworth. What an active imagination you have-- alien assassinations.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Is it too much? I-I mean, is my imagination too active?
Walden Roth
No, no. I love it. Now, as I've expressed in the letter, I wish to serialize your novel in our publication, roman a' clef. Many outstanding authors receive their first printing in our publications.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
[ laughing ] th-that's great. Um, I had an idea about the artwork. I-I thought it could have a kind of tom clancy-ish kind of look, and that--
Walden Roth
Great, great. That's why we work with young writers. But I'll be honest, however. You'll have to relinquish some control.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Of course. Of course.
Walden Roth
After all, it is our publication. And I can assure you, we'll handle it with the utmost respect.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
No, no, no. I'm-I'm sure you will. I'm-- I'm just excited.
Walden Roth
Understandable. Now, do you have an agent or attorney?
Cigarette-Smoking Man
No.
Walden Roth
That's fine. It's a minimum agreement of $2,500, and you'll save yourself ten percent.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Well, that's fine, that's fine. An-anything. When do you plan to publish the story?
Walden Roth
Roman a' clef. It'll be on the newsstands the morning of november 12th.
[ bell dings ]
[ people chattering ]
Scene 37
NEWSTAND · WASHINGTON, D.C.
Passerby
Hey, buddy, you can't park there!
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Excuse me, sir. Have you got this week's issue of roman a' clef? Thanks. Yeah. This isn't the ending that I wrote. It's all wrong.
Man
If you're gonna stand there and read it, I gotta ask you to buy it. Of course, I don't know why anybody in their right mind... Would wanna buy that sort of crap. That be it?
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Pack of morleys.
[ clattering sound ]
[ rattling sound ]
Cigarette-Smoking Man
Life is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So you're stuck with this undefinable whipped mint crap... That you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while there's a peanut butter cup... Or an english toffee, but they're gone too fast and the taste is fleeting. So you end up with nothing but... Broken bits filled with hardened jelly... And teeth-shattering nuts. If you're desperate enough to eat those, all you've got left is a-- is an empty box... Filled with useless brown paper wrappers.
Scene 38
WASHINGTON, D.C.
Melvin Frohike
So far, this is based only on a story I read... In one of my weekly subscriptions that rang a few bells. I'm going to check on a private hacker source who's been working on tracking a few leads... That could produce definitive proof. And then we'll have him nailed.
Cigarette-Smoking Man
I can kill you whenever I please. But not today.
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About this transcript
The dialogue comes from the official DVD subtitle track supplied by Boggsfiles. Speaker and scene attribution was cross-checked against character-labelled reference material. Subtitle wording is preserved while capitalization and spacing are standardized for easier reading.